Toxic Love
by JoyJoyful
Summary: 20 years of friendship before Rick lost his best friend Rainelle (Rain-L). She disappeared out of thin air, didn't send letters nor did she say good-bye. The last he saw her was at his wedding and that was fours year before he and Lori had Carl. Now the world has gone to shit and Rick wakes up to find her protecting his wife and son altogether. Slow-burn, lol.
1. Chapter 1

Rainelle or as she goes by Rae stood watch with Dale on top of the RV. You wouldn't believe that it was only a month ago before the deadly outbreak. Life was normal, she had a best friend who she could count on, amazing parents and two younger siblings and most importantly she had a daughter who she loved with all her heart. No one special but life as it was, was enough for her.

A month that was enough to drag her into the darkness that surrounded her now. Her parents and two siblings became infected and died, leaving her alone with her daughter who was the only thing that kept her alive and in the light. A best friend who was declared dead not by infection but by a gunshot wound. Maybe it was best, he wouldn't have to live in such a cruel world only that he left a wife and his son.

"Rae!" Carl yelled out waving at her as Lori cut his hair giving a smile in her direction. Rae barely smiled anymore yet she faked one in their direction, no one was ever able to tell if she gave a real one, only her daughter could tell the truth from her eyes.

"Dale, you see that?" Rae said seeing the fast-moving sport car with its alarm blasting through the forest.

"Talk to me, Dale!" Shane yelled walking forward. He declared himself the 'leader' of the group but Rae knew better. If those walkers came to the camp, he'd be the first to just protect Lori and Carl.

Rae jumped down from the RV, "Turn that damn thing off!" Rae yelled at Glenn as he pulled in greeting everyone showing off the car.

"I don't know how." Glenn stuttered. Rae even wondered how he manage to steal the car.

"Pop the hood." Rae ordered ignoring the fuss of Amy who was worried for her sister. Rae pulled the battery turning off the alarm. "How the hell did you even steal the car if you didn't know?"

"Yes! Yes! She's fine. Everybody is. Well, Merle not so much. We met someone. He helped saved us." Glenn explained the situation.

"Are you crazy, driving this wailing Bastard up here? Are you trying to draw every walker for miles?" Shane yelled resting his arm on the popped hood.

"I think we're okay." Dale said looking around for any walker that might have followed the noise.

"You call being stupid okay?"

"The alarm was echoing all over these hills. It would be hard to pinpoint the source." Rae said defended Dale and Glenn.

"Just think things more through a little more carefully next time, okay?" Dale said making his point to Glenn. Rae walked away shaking her head.

"Sorry. Got a cool car." Glenna said gesturing towards it but no one cared, not anymore. They stop paying attention to him after a big truck pulled in from behind. Andrea heads towards a worrying Amy, as do Morales who heads toward his wife kissing her and his kids. Carl watches the reunions a little bit jealous knowing that he would never see his dad again. His eyes waters and Lori pulls him away from the scene.

"Rick?" Rae said coming behind Lori and Carl seeing the familiar man walk out from the truck. He had died, she thought. Her gaze immediately turning towards Shane who had been the one to tell her. She felt happy yet horrified at the same time.

Carl turned his head to look at Rae who said his father's name and followed her gaze toward a man in his sheriff uniform walking away from the truck to them. He paused in his step to take a breath like he couldn't believe his eyes. He had found them, his wife and son. They were alive.

"Dad…DAD!" Carl said running towards him emotionally. Rick pulled him into the tightest hug he could muster making sure it wasn't a dream that he was alive and holding his son in his arms. It was a happy reunion. Rae and Lori looked at each other knowing that it wouldn't be hidden when they came back, it couldn't be unless Rick was that stupid to not know.

Lori kept her gaze toward Rae, the women who saved hers and Carl life, who has been protecting them putting herself in dangerous constantly to protect them. She accepted it, it was the end of the world and Lori knew that Rae would never do anything to hurt them. She could trust her but when Rick finds out, he's not going to be happy. Could they hide it? She wondered.

Rick walks up to his wife and pull her into an embrace interrupting her train of thought and all she thought about was the guilt of moving on. She was happy, overjoyed yet she felt ashamed of herself. Rick brought her into a passionate kiss whispering 'you're alive.' As he kissed her again sandwiching their son together letting him feel the warm of his two parents of his father once again.

Rae darts away to her tent panicking about the situation. What she should do? Rick is her best friend and when he finds out, things are going to get ugly. But what if he doesn't realize it, what if he's not able to tell? One could only hope.

Rae didn't leave her tent, she even had Glenn bring her food to her. She couldn't face Rick, their 20 years of friendship was everything to her but after Lori, after Alex it may just build a wall between them.

Rae woke up the next morning before anyone checking their surroundings of any walkers before she started to wash up by the lake not wanting to wake Dale up. She took watch until Dale was up and they started to take apart the sports car that Glenn brought up. Rae did everything in her power to avoid meeting with Rick, she couldn't face him yet and he hasn't noticed her yet so, so far, so good.

She walked over to the forest picking at berries until she heard Carl screaming for Lori. She quickly jumped up and ran toward the sound with Rick and the other following behind her but she was ahead of the group. Jacqui was there helping the kids get to safety.

"Carl!" Rae yelled, her weapon up and aiming at any possible threat as Carl ran toward her side trusting her after all the times she's saved him and his mother. "You okay?" She asked not taking her eyes off the direction he came from as he clung onto her body.

"Carl!" He doesn't let go until his father comes into view along with his mother. Once he does, Rae moves farther into the forest to find the threat. She moves into a clearing where a walker is devouring a deer with crossbow bolts sticking out of it. The rest of the group follows her and Rae let the five men beat the walker until Dale arrives and decapitates it cutting off its head.

"Alex! Alex!" Rae yells out knowing the crossbow arrows from anywhere. Her and Daryl were both close by, she knew it and with the walker near camp, Rae was anxious. The bushes rustle and the entire group raises their weapons protectively. Daryl in a sleeveless t-shirt steps out with a young teen following behind him.

Rae signs bringing her daughter into a tight hug. "Son of a bitch." Daryl swears seeing the deer they've been hunting for miles wasted.

"Daryl!" Rae snaps not liking his use of language around her 15-year-old.

Daryl backs away going the other way around to check the deer. Rae scared him and he wasn't going to challenge her. Cowering from her death glare, he pretended that she didn't say anything.

"That's my deer! Look at it. All gnawed on by this…filthy, disease-bearing, motherless-" Daryl started to kick the dead walker taking his anger out on it.

Seeing the warning glare come from Rae he quickly switches to a politer version of what he was going to say or tried too, he just finished his sentence with the word 'walker.'

"Mom, I'm not a kid anymore. I'm 15 years old. You should have heard Uncle Daryl when we were hunting…" Alex started ignoring Daryl's gesturing to cut it out yet the mischievous look in her eyes told him she wasn't going to stop soon.

"Really?" Rae said in a deadly voice and Alex nodding speaking words that she shouldn't even be speaking yet. "Daryl."

"Look, Rae, Rae, Rae uh-" He stuttered to come up with an excuse and took off to his tent without looking back. Once he was gone from the clearing, Alex and Rae all but burst out into giggles.

Suddenly the decapitated head of the walker started moving again snapping its teeth, "Oh, god." Amy said not able to look anymore. Rae quickly shot it with a smaller crossbow that could be used with one hand killing it instantly.

"You might want to let him know about his brother, Shane." Rae all but ignored Rick hoping he wouldn't realize anything.

Rick wasn't stupid, he knew. One look at the 15-year-old gave him all he needed to know. But now wasn't the time, he needed to deal with the Dixon brother. He gave one last look to his best friend who was obviously avoiding contact and eye contact with him.

"What happened to Uncle Merle?" Alex asks as Rae leads her back to their tent to rest. They've been gone for a whole day and night.

"He caused some problem for the last run. Now he's handcuffed to a roof. Best not worry about it and get some rest sweetie." Rae waited until she was fully asleep before leaving the tent finding everyone gathered near the RV guessing they were going to get Merle Dixon off that roof.

Rick and Shane talks about the recuse mission letting the gun know about the bag of guns he dropped when he entered Atlanta. Glenn was involuntarily going and T-Dog volunteer to go because of the guilt he felt for dropping the key. He wouldn't be able to live with what he did.

Rae watches as Shane argues about Rick putting them at 'Rick' as he so puts it. The true is that Shane's scared of losing his position as the leader of the group. Shane was never a leader, he wanted to be one but true was he ain't one. Rick was the true leader and with him back, it threatens Shane's position and he knows it too.

Lori intervene frustrated that he's leaving when he only just got back to them. Asking, begging him not to go or at least explains until she understand. Rae kept her eyes on her tent making sure that there were no threats nearby her tent and half listening to the conversation she probably missed half already. When she turned her attention back to the group she found Rick coming her way and if she turned around to walk away it would be obvious she was avoiding him but she needed to do that only he caught her.

"We need to talk when I get back, Rainelle." Rick said using her full name to let her know he was serious and angry with her. Rae stare back at him with cold eyes nodding before shaking off his hold on her arm to walk back to her tent where Alex was coming out of. It seems like she couldn't get much sleep but at least she got some rest.

"Come on, let's find you something to eat and then help the women with the laundry." Rae said brushing back her daughter's hair.

Everyone was gathered together surrounding the fire camp enjoying the fried fish that Carol had cook for them as they waited for the others to get back. Rae and Alex had offered to take watch even though it was too dark to really see anything, they wanted to help keep everyone safe and Rae felt more relaxed that Alex was up there.

Rae nods toward Amy who was coming to the RV to get use the bathroom yet she came back out complaining, "We're out of toilet paper."

Rae moved her way to the group to grab a blanket for Alex and return the dishes. It was getting cold out and she needed the extra blanket. The dishes were dropped when Amy let out a petrified scream as a walker bite into her arm.

Rae jumped out of the way when Shane raised his gun and took his shot not even caring that she was in the way. "Alex, you stay up there!" Rae yelled at her daughter before moving towards everyone who couldn't protect themselves as walkers filled the camp.

"Move! Get to the RV!" Rae ordered shooting her arm crossbow at walker's heads. A knife in the other hand. When she ran out of arrows, Rae pulled her handgun out and started firing, hitting walkers one after the other square in the forehead.

Survivors moved towards the RV, Shane had Lori behind her but no Carl. "Carl!" Rae shouted looking for the young boy and focusing her shooting.

"Rae!" Carl cried scooting away from a walker who made a grab for him.

"Shit." Rae said quietly. She throws her knife hitting the walker in the back of the brain

Rae pulls her knife out of the dead walker and pulls Carl to his feet and stabs another walker in their direction. The boy wraps his arm around her stomach tightly, Rae continued shooting moving them forward to get to the RV.

Soon enough she was going to run out of ammo. There were too many of them. "Mom!" Alex cried from the top of the RV worried for her mother as walkers surrounded her and Carl.

"You don't let go, Carl!" She could feel him nod against her stomach as she held him and started to use her knife having to get closer to them. Rae spun a whole 360 with her knife pointing out slicing the walkers around her giving her more room. Thankfully Rick and the others had returned running towards them all sporting weapons and firing at the remaining walkers.

"Hold on, Carl!" Rae said as she held him tighter and made a run for the RV avoiding the grabbing hands of walkers. They made is safely but Carl wouldn't let go and she needed him to. "Carl, you need to let go." He only shook his head not wanting to let go. "Lori." Rae ordered as Lori pulled Carl off her. Rae swung her knife out killing the walkers getting near them instantly. She killed three more who came too close to the group before the rest of the walkers fell.

Rae would have been able to help kill more without wasting ammo but she could feel the hand that grabbed the back of her t-shirt. Carl had let her go but he kept her close within his clutches.

"Hey, you're safe now." Rae said turning to face the young boy since he wouldn't release his grip on her. "When have I never kept you safe?" Rae tried reassuring him like every other time she had too after protecting him. "See, your dad's back."

Rae put her around her daughter who came down while she was speaking with Carl. "Come on, I bet he wants to hug you again." Alex said teasingly making Carl finally smile up at them. Lori smiles at them thankfully with tears running down her face. Carl runs up to his dad as Rick screams out their names.

"I'm so glad you were up there." Rae whispers pulling her daughter into a hug. That night everyone settled into the RV sleeping in that tight confined area. Not wanting to risk anymore walkers out there. Daryl set outside but on top of the RV taking watch at the same time not wanting to sleep in a confined space.

Rae waited for the talk to come from Rick but maybe with everything that happened he had forgotten but one look from him made it clear that he didn't forget only that it wasn't the right time to have that discussion. There probably will never be a right time to discuss.


	2. Chapter 2

The sun rose over the dead city, light sweeping over the broken buildings and trashed roads chasing the dark. Despite all the death within the camp, the sun's ray reflected blindingly off the wind shield and brought all to life. The sun continues to brighten everything it touched, reaching the countryside.

Alex sat up on the RV keeping watch as the other gathered the dead bodies throwing them into the burning fire. Rae helped Glenn put bodies into graves until a shout caught their attention. "Jim's been bitten." Panic erupted in the camp and everyone surrounds him like he's a monster. T-Dog runs up behind him and grabs his arm,

"Let him go, T-Dog. He's not an animal." Rae said coming up behind them trying to teach and show her daughter that there were still some humanity left in this world.

"I'm okay." Jim says with far less conviction.

"You're fine. You're okay. Come on, let's go over to the RV. Get you away from the sun." Rae said helping Jim over to the RV, Alex her daughter keeping an eye on them.

"Look, Jim. I have to see." Rae said softly after helping him sit handing him a bottle of water.

Rae lifts his shirt to reveal a bite wound on his abdomen that was slowly festering. "Okay, sit and rest here, okay." Rae said leaving him by the RV making sure her daughter kept an eye on him.

Rae walks up to the group who were discussing what to do with Jim. "I say we put a pickaxe in his head and the dead girl's and be done with it." Daryl says as she walks up.

"Is that what you'd want if it were you?" Shane questioned sarcastically looking up from the ground.

"Yeah, and I'd thank you for it." Daryl nodded taking the question seriously.

"I hate to say it, I never thought I would, but maybe Daryl's right." Dale said unsure of his answer. Even ashamed of himself for having that thought.

"You don't look too sure about that, Dale." Rae started with her eyebrow raised at the whole group who look like no one was going to disagree.

"We aren't monsters yet. Jim's not a monster. We start down that road, it'll be hard to come back. Where's our humanity at?" Rae said looking at each and everyone in the group. "I'm trying to teach my daughter that there is still some humanity left in this world. I'm not going let you guys do that with her around."

"Rae's right, where do we draw the line?" Rick came to her defense. Rae knew he would, he was an honorable man who instilled a strong moral code of honor and bravery.

"The line's pretty clear. Zero tolerance for walkers, or them to be." Daryl argued.

"What if we can get him help? I heard the CDC was working on a cure." Rick told the group pointing out that this is a deadly outbreak that they would protect the CDC first.

"I heard that too. Heard a lot of things before the world went to hell." Shane countered not having any hope left but for one's own survival.

"What if the C.D.C is still up and running?" Rick told the group. Rae knew better, there was no cure. She was once the person, Rick was right now. Holding onto that hopeless hope, she knew better now but she trusted Rick to get them their safety. She trusted his instincts, they were never wrong.

"Even if it was, the CDC is 100 miles in the other direction. Jim would never make it." Dale told him.

"It's the best chance we got that can get Jim some help. If there's any government left, any structure at all, they'd protect the CDC at all costs, wouldn't they? It's our best shot. Shelter, protection..." Rick trailed off trying to convince the group of the best option.

"Okay, Rick, you want those things, all right? I do too, okay? Now if they exist, they're at the army base. Fort Benning." Shane said trying to think of another solution because they needed it but he did it because he wanted them to know who was leading them, he wasn't winning that's for sure.

"The military was on the front line of this thing. They got overrun. We've all seen it. Look at Atlanta. The CDC is our best choice and Jim's only chance."

Daryl was tired of all this back and forth arguing. "You go looking for aspirin. Somebody needs to have some balls to take care of this damn problem!" His grip tightens on the pickaxe he held. He turned towards Jim heading over.

Rae jumped in front of him pushing him back, "Stop it! Daryl!" Daryl ignored Rae and continue towards him as Rick pulls his gun out to his head. "Rick, put the gun down! We don't kill the living." Rae said standing between Daryl and the gun keep a tight grip on Daryl to keep him from moving.

"Alex, put down the rifle." Rae said knowing her daughter had the rifle raised towards Rick as Rick held a gun to her head.

"If it comes down to it, I'll let Jim made his decision and if he turns, I'll kill him myself. He deserves someone who cares." Rae said letting the entire group know even Jim who nodded, thankful. "Alex, down." Rae said once more seeing her daughter still had the rifle position. "Now."

"Lower your gun." Alex said pointedly at Rick who had his gun still raised to Rae's head.

"We don't kill the living." Rick said agreeing with Rae lowering his gun as Alex did the same.

"That's funny coming from the man who put a gun to our heads" Daryl said glaring back at him. His stance had shifted from killing Jim to going on defense with Rick who had a gun to Rae's head.

"Stop it, Daryl. Get back to work, we want to leave by tomorrow morning." Rae nodded her head towards the massive graveyard they were still working on.

"What about the girl?" Shane asks nodding his head toward Amy and Andrea coming up after Daryl had shove his pickaxe into the ground.

"Andrea should do it. It should be a loved one who puts them down. They deserve at least that." Rae said walking away to help with the bodies. Rick headed over to Jim and helped him into the RV. "Alex do not move from that spot. Stay with the RV." Rae ordered her daughter and Alex knew her mom was going to have a hard talk with her, probably for pointing a gun at a man.

Rae sat down with Andrea with Dale joining them. Dale started talking, he came to pay his respects for Amy's death. Rae sat listening quietly as Dale told them the story about his wife battling cancer, how he fought for her even though she's accepted her fate already. And when she passed how it left him feeling angry and cheated.

Rae could understand his feelings. Her parents and siblings were good people who cared and help anyone they could. And when the infection got them, she felt that it wasn't fair. Their death left her guilty and angry. She needed to live for her daughter, she knew that, her parents and siblings knew that, it seems like she was the only one who didn't know.

Andrea smiles and pulls out a mermaid necklace wrapped in pink tissue paper. Today would have been Amy's birthday.

"Her birthday was always like… like a week-long affair. But I somehow always missed it. I was away at college or too busy for kid's parties. She'd call all excited. I always said that I'd make it home and I really always meant to, but I never made it past that phone call." Andrea cried softly. She pulled out the mermaid necklace and puts it around Amy's neck. Dale soon leaves, leaving Andrea on the ground with Rae sitting by her side as comfort whether she knew if she needed it or not. Rae was there.

Suddenly, Amy starts breathing again, Rick and Shane comes up from behind with their hand on their weapon ready to open fire if Andrea couldn't.

"Amy, Amy, I'm sorry." Andrea cries as Amy's eye open and are filled with void. She moans and paws at the air. Rae held her hand up for them to stop approaching and that she got this. They stopped approach but they didn't leave.

"I'm sorry for not ever being there. I always thought there'd be more time. I'm here now, Amy. I'm here. I love you." Andrea said as Amy came closer to her face but Andrea had the gun ready. She shot Amy in the head and sobs while she does it.

"I'm here. I'M here." Rae said in a tone that she understood what she was going through. It what Andrea heard through her tone. Rae understood her pain. Rae held her tight as she cried into her arms.

"Come on, we have to bury her before daylight runs out." Rae said grabbing the cloth she grabbed to wrap Amy up.

Everyone else was done. All the graves were complete. There was only one left and that was for Amy. Rae helped Andrea move the body to the site but once it was time to lower the body, Andrea insist that she do it alone. She wanted too. Dale tried to help but Andrea wouldn't accept his help. She needed to pull her own weight, she needed to do this by herself.

They had time to mourn, not enough but they had time. Rae walked at the back with Carl who held her hand not wanting to let go. It happens every time that she saved him. He sticks to her like glue for a day or so before moving on again. Their eyes were red from crying but Rae didn't shed a tear. She hadn't cried for the longest time after the outbreak. She had no time to waste. She'd do her duty to protect her daughter. She didn't have the time to cry.

"Are we safe now, dad? Now that we're together?" Carl stopped turning to his parents hearing his dad speak to his mom. Rae stood by his side awkwardly, Lori had gotten use to the routine every time she protects them.

"I won't leave again. I promise you that. Not for anything. Now give me a chance to discuss some things with your mom, okay?" Rick said bending down to kiss his son.

"Come on buddy, let's pack up and I'll share something special with you that only Alex knows about." Rae said with a small smile. Rick just realizes that she doesn't smile anymore and most of her smiles were faked or forced.

Rick turns to Lori, "Shane blames me for not being here. Do you? We got guns now. We're stronger." He grabs her hand and holds on tight.

"And we have fewer people. That makes us weaker. You want me to say I think you were right? I understand that. All I can say is that neither one of you is entirely wrong. It's the best I can do right now." Rick takes his hand out of hers not knowing what to do.

"What about the CDC?" Rick asks. Even if everyone didn't believe in him, he just needed one person and that one person was Lori, the woman he loves.

"Rick…" Lori started not knowing what to say.

"We're at the ragged edge here. We need relief and we got a sick man who needs help. I don't know why people can't see that." Rick trying to convince his wife and he shouldn't have to try and convince her because she should have stood by his side no matter what his decision.

"Well, look at their faces. Look at mine. We're all terrified. If one of us suggested, based on a hunch, that we head toward that city, you'd have no part of it. Tell me something with certainty."

There was nothing Rick knew anymore that was certain, only one. "I love you. That's all I got." Lori pulled him into a hug treasuring what love they had left. But no matter what, Rick's heart even with his love for Lori, Carl, his heart wasn't satisfied.

"Do you know whose Alex's father?" Rick couldn't help but ask as they walk back hand in hand. Lori had to know after living in camp for a month, she had too. It was obvious to him. It should be to everyone too.

Lori paused in her step making him stop. "You have to ask Rae that. I can't answer that for her." The answer Lori gave just gave him the answer he needed.

They made it back to the camp and found Rae blindfold while she played with the kids. Sophia, Alex, Carl and Morales two kids, Eliza and Louis. The giggled running around her clapping from side to side to confuse her but she knew better. "I know it's you Carl." Rae said as she turned and captures a small boy, pulling off the blindfold she found that she caught Carl. "I told you." She laughs spinning the young boy around in a circle making her way to the rest of the younger kids.

Rae winked at Alex, letting Carl onto the ground. They both chased after the young bodies running. Louis jumps on Rae's back when she bends down to capture Eliza who squeal in delight.

"Get her!" Alex yells jumping in after Louis piling up on her mother with the rest of the kids. They all giggle together as they started to tickle her from everywhere.

"I surrender! I surrender! Daryl!" Rae yells out weakly and out of breath from all the laughing she's done. There were smiles all around camp forgetting that they just buried half of the people in their camp, hell even Andrea smiled a little.

Daryl grabs Alex off her mother. "Go! Run! He's here!" Alex yells like she horrified with her hands on her cheek pushing out her lips.

Rae jumps off the ground and runs after the little bodies that ran toward their parents making Rae laugh. "Seems like no one wants me anymore, I guess I'll enjoy this chocolate bar by MYSELF." Rae said out louder so they could hear. She back up as the kids came running up. "Uh.." Daryl and Alex laugh on the side.

"Oh no." Rae said turning around to run but Rick and Lori both blocked her way. She slammed right into Rick who caught her on the way down to the ground. They both groan seeing Lori holding the chocolate bar with the kids huddle around her.

"Lori." Rae whined feeling the impact of the ground. Lori only just laugh and split the bar fairly between the kids. "Damn." Rae muttered laying her head back down on the ground or what she thought was the ground. It was Rick's chest. "Shit." Rae got up so quick that she manages to trip over her own feet and fall back down.

"Oh no" She could hear Rick muttered as she closed her eye falling back again. The group behind her just laughed even more even Rick laugh at her clumsiness.

"I forgot that you had two left feet." Rick said helping her up.

"Oh, shut it." Rae said dusting off the dirt on her clothes. "My chocolate bar." Rae signs sarcastically before giving the kids a smile who looked at her with guilt.

Alex and Daryl stood off to the side laughing by themselves. "Alex has another one if you want more." Rae said throwing her daughter under the bus giving her a smirk ignoring the glare her daughter gave her.

Before Rae could walk away Rick pulled her to the side, "We need to talk." Was the only thing he said before walking away from the group. Rae look at Lori for help and Lori could shrug and shake her head.

Rick led her to the cliff looking over the quarry. They stood in silence for a couple minutes. Rae didn't know what to say so she waited for Rick to say something, to start.

"Were you ever going to tell me?" He asked staring straight ahead.

"When she turns 18, I was." Rae admitted.

"Was?"

"Yeah, was. The world has gone to shit, Rick. I wasn't going to tell her. Not after the outbreak and finding out that you died. I wasn't going to put my daughter through that. Then you came back, alive. I was happy yet terrified." Rae said turning to look at him as he did her.

"I know my daughter. She wants a family. A father and a mother who's in love. We're not. You have a wife and a son. Alex loves Carl and Lori. They're family to her, which is ironic." Rae let out a humorless chuckle.

"She's my daughter." Rick started,

"No, she's _my_ daughter. Your wife and child are sitting in the middle of camp right now. Not some daughter you help create from a one night stand."

"You left! _You_ left! If you stayed, things would have been different now." Rick yelled in a whispering tone.

"No, no it wouldn't because I would have never married you." It hurt the way she coldly replied like marrying him was a sin.

"You know me, I wanted love like my parents. Hell, they even died together when the outbreak happened. That's what I want, If I married you it would have been out of love and not responsibility. You would have married me out of responsibility and neither one of would be happy. That's just the truth, Rick." Rick did know her and he knew that what she said was true. He would have married her feeling responsible for being reckless.

"I want-" Rick started and Rae knew what he wanted but it couldn't happen. "You can't tell her."

"She grew up without a father but she grew up knowing you. I told her stories about you, the moral code you honor. She's like you in many ways. Don't ruin that image, Rick." Rae said going back to staring at the quarry.

"It'll break her heart. And she'll be confused. There aren't many people in this world she loves anymore. Don't make her hate two of the people she loves most." Rae walked away leaving Rick to dwell in his own thoughts.


	3. Chapter 3

"All right, everybody listen up!" Shane announced, calling the camp to order. Everyone stood by the cars, packed and ready to go. They decided they were going to the CDC. "Those of you with CB's, we're gonna be on channel 40. Let's keep the chatter down, okay? Now, you got a problem, don't got a CB, can't get a signal – anything at all – you're gonna hit your horn one time. That'll stop the caravan. Any questions?"

Morales cleared his throat, "We're uh… we're not going." He stated. Everyone stared at them silently question why and where they would go if not with them.

"We have family in Birmingham. We want to be with our people." His wife, Miranda continue.

"You go on your own, you won't have anyone to watch your back." Shane told them not wanting to lose more of their people.

"We'll take the chance. I got to do what's best for my family." Morales said. "We talked about it. We're sure."

"All right. Shane." Rick said making a grab for the bag of weapons and handed Morales a hand gun along with a box half full of ammo.

Everyone makes a grab for each other saying good byes and good luck. Soon enough everyone was getting into their cars and getting ready to head out.

"Hey, uh, Alex! You…uh, you wanna ride with us?" Rick asked as everyone got into their cars.

"It's your call." Rae said letting her daughter decided. "Uh…Sure." Alex replied grabbing her bag and heading over to the car.

"You mind if I ride with you?" Rae said heading over to Daryl who was loading up his brother's bike in the truck.

The drove in silence until Daryl broke the silence. "Rick 'er father?" Catching Rae off guard.

"Yeah." Rae answered him honestly. She's never lied to Daryl and she wasn't about to start now.

"You love him?"

"Does it matter if I do? He has a wife and a son at that. I'm just glad he's happy." Rae said looking out the window.

"Well, he ain't." Daryl started, "The worlds gone to shit. He wakes up from a coma and tries to find the one thing that's normal to him and that his wife and son. Don't mean he happy."

"Also, don't mean he don't love her." Daryl goes silent before he begins speaking again.

"You know you didn't have to protect me." It takes Rae a second to realize that he was talking about her shield him from the gun Rick drew on her.

"Yes, I did." Rae nodded. "I protect you like you and Merle help protect and teach my daughter hunting skills. You're family now."

Daryl slams on his brake as the car ahead stop. They both go out to check and found that the RV's engine overheated. Both with their weapons. Daryl helps keep watch as they figure out how to fix the RV.

"I told you we'd never get far on that hose. I said I needed the one from the cube van." Dale tells Rick as he overlooks the smoking battery.

"Can you jury-rig it?"

"That's all it's been so far. It's more duct tape than hose. And I'm out of duct tape."

As they figure out the situation, Rae goes to check on Jim who looks like he's in agony.

"Hey, how you are feeling?" Rae asks as she takes a sit next to him.

"Oh, Jesus Christ. My bones…My bones are like glass. Every little bump…God, this ride is killing me." Jim responds, his eyes could tell her that he's reach his decision. He was at his end. He couldn't take it anymore and just wanted to be done.

"Rae, Rae please. I want to be with my family." Jim cried out knowing what he was asking her and that it was cruel of him to ask him that but he was done.

Rae nods her head and heads out to let the group know his decision.

"He's done. He's made his decision."

"It's what he wants?" Dale asks and Rae nods her head silently.

"Back at the camp when I said Daryl might be right and you shut me down, you misunderstood. I would never go along with callously killing a man. I was just going to suggest that we ask Jim what he wants." Dale explains making himself clear.

"I think we have an answer." Rae said nodding her head.

"Did he say how?" Rick asks.

"He wants me to do it and I agreed." Rae said staring off down the road feeling the stares of everyone but she couldn't look at them. It would be too hard.

Rick and Shane move Jim to a nearby tree settling him down gently as he groans from the pain he's been feeling. "Hey, another damn tree." Jim chuckles even though he knew death was coming soon.

"Hey Jim…I mean, you know it doesn't need to be this." Shane tried to help him maybe give him hope.

"No. It's good. The breeze feels nice." Jim said closing his eyes and enjoying the feel of the outside air after being in the RV the entire time. Everyone came to say their goodbyes until they were only left with Rick and Rae and Daryl hanging back.

"Hey." Rae said softly holding his hand.

"I'm sorry. I asked you. I know it's not right but I – I don't want to become like them. I just want to be with my family." Rae nod her head with a sad smile.

"It's okay. I understand. I won't let you become one of them. I'll make sure you see your family again." Rae knew she couldn't make promises like that but she could only hope that after he would get to be with them.

"Alex is a wonderful lady. She'll grow up to be as beautiful and strong like you…Thank you, Rainelle." Jim said as if it was his last breath and closed his eyes.

Rae raised her hand gun and slowly aim at his head. One clean shot killed him instantly. After Rae finished she could feel her hand shake. She stood there watching as blood dripped from his head.

"Come on." Daryl said appearing by her side and helping her down the hill and to his truck leaving Rick to follow them.

Rick drove in silence with his family. "You're Rick, right? Of course. I mean you're my mom's best friend of 20 years, right?" Alex said finally breaking the silence and speaking.

"That's me." Rick nodded trying not to sound so awkward interacting with is daughter for the first time.

"Is that why my mom trusts you? Even if you may be taking us to a place that's not safe?" Alex said thinking back to her conversation with her mom before the meeting early in the morning. She wanted to protect her mom. Her mom trusts Rick so much and she wanted to be sure that it was the right decision.

" _Mom, are we also going to the CDC." Alex asked coming up to her mother in the morning before the meeting before they head out._

" _You remember the stories I use to tell you about your dad? And those stories I use to tell you about my best friend. Well, that's Rick. And from all the stories I told you I hope you know that he's a good guy. I trust his instinct, I always have. He will always make the best decision not for only his family but also his group. You can trust him. And if there is nothing at the CDC, no harm done. He'll get us out, just, just trust him sweetie." Alex nodded trusting her mom who trust Rick._

Rick couldn't answer because he, himself also couldn't confidently say that the CDC is safe. "My mom says that I can trust you because no matter what happens you'll do what best for your family and this group. My mom will always believe in you so I hope you aren't bringing us to meet our death." Alex said as no answer was given back. It was like she was talking by herself.

"I won't let anything happen to you, Alex. You can trust me on that." Rick said taking his glaze off the road and looking at her through the mirror. Thankfully that Lori, Carl, Sophie and Carol were asleep.

"If you're her best friend. That means you know my dad. You know who he is right? Do you have any stories about him? Or a picture?" Rick held Lori's hand as Alex asked him questions that he found easy yet so hard to answer.

"I think it's a conversation you should be having with your mom."

"I can't. Mom thinks I don't know but I know it hurts her to speak about him. I see her cry and my mom doesn't cry. That's how I know that it hurts her a lot and I don't wanna ask her." Alex explains not wanting to put her mom in that painful situation.

"She still cries just at night when she thinks I'm asleep. I can't ask her because I don't want her to be sad."

Rick didn't know how to response but take his hand away from Lori and put them both on the wheel. He didn't know she cried, that she was in pain. He suddenly couldn't help but feel a little disgusted with himself.

They approach the CDC with the sun setting. There were hundreds of bodies lying around the CDC, they were dead. Rick stepped out of his car first and everyone followed. Moving in a quietly fashion with guns and weapons to protect themselves armed and ready. It looked overrun.

"Keep it tight!" Rae whispered huddling the group together as they moved towards the door. Daryl stood at the back keeping watch. "Walkers!" He yelled out shooting over down as the dead start to take notice of them. "You led us into a graveyard." Daryl yells grabbing more attention from the walkers.

"Shut it! Dixon!" Rae snarls seeing Rick becoming hopeless as he realized the wrong choice he's made.

"He made a call." Shane came to his rescue.

"It was the wrong damn call!" Daryl said shooting at another walker that came too close to the group.

"Just shut up!" Rae snarls moving toward Rick with her daughter by Carl and Lori looking out.

"Rick. Rick!" Rae said grabbing his face as he kept staring at the shut doors. "You made a call, now make another one. I believe in you. We believed you, we still do. Now make the call." Rae said looking him clear in the eye. She wasn't going to let her daughter die here. Not after everything she went through, it wasn't ending here.

"The camera…It moved." Rick said his eye darting around the door.

"You imagined it." Shane said ready to get out of there.

"Shut it! Shane." Rae gestured for him to go back to being the protection guard for Lori.

Rae slammed against the door. "I know you're in there. I know you can hear me." Rae screamed out as the others defended themselves against walkers.

"If you turn us away, you're killing us! We have women, children! Will you be able to live with that!?" Rae said slamming against the door not willing to leave as Shane tries to grab her and make a go at it.

"Please! You're killing us! You're killing us!" Rick begged out, desperate and finally just about to give up when the door begins to open blinding them in a bright light.

"It's open! Cover the back!" Rae yelled as she helps the women and children go in first with Rick in the front looking for any threats. "Watch for walkers!" Rae said as everyone came through the door.

The sound of a gun loading catches their attention and every who has a weapon raises it. Daryl and Rae don't take their eyes off the door watching for walkers.

"Anybody infected?"

"One of our group was. He didn't make it." Rick explains.

"Why are you here? What do you want?" The only man they've seen so far ask with the gun still pointed at them.

"A chance." Rick told him.

"That's asking an awful lot these days." Rick nods agreeing with him but no backing down, because he couldn't.

"You all submit to a blood test. That's the price of admission." The doctor finally decided.

"We can do that."

"You got stuff to bring in, you do it now. Once this door closes, it stays closed." The doctor says moving forward to close the door. Shane, T-Dog, Glenn, Rick and Daryl ran out to grab the bags. Rae was going to follow them but Daryl told her to stay back with her daughter and that he'll grab her bag for her.

The door closed as the last man came through with the bags. The doc swipe his to lock the door. "Vi, seal the main entrance and cut the power to the top." He said into thin air so the group assume that someone else was watching them.

He led them to an elevator that everyone squeezed into. "Doctor's always pack that much heat?" Daryl glanced at the doctor

"There were a lot of weapons lying around, so I familiarized myself with them." He answered giving the group a look over one by one. "You don't look very dangerous to me except for you," he nodded to Carl. "I'm going to have to keep an eye on you." The doctor teased as they arrived in the basement.

Surprisingly the group learn Rae weakness, needles. Her daughter, Alex held her hand as she looked away when the doctor poked the needle into her vein. It was entertaining as she groans and cried looking ready to bolt out of the seat. It got her a few laugh as she glared at the group. "Pussy." Daryl hollered from the back of the group. After the doc was finish Rae was ready to bolt sadly for her, her body was weak from malnutrition. She barely got up before she almost fell back again.

Rick stood up ready to go to her side but Daryl be him there being closer and all. He helps Alex help Rae into the chair. She was the last to go because of her fear they didn't know about until she kept pushing the line until she was last.

"What's wrong?" Doc asked. Rae shook her head, "I'm fine."

"She hasn't eaten in days. None of us have." Daryl replies for her giving her some water to drink and Alex held her mother's hand worried.

"I'm fine, baby girl." Rae said brushing aside some hair pieces that blocked Alex's face. "Thanks." She gave the bottle back to him.

"Well, I can help with that." Doc said getting up and leading them towards what look like a break room with food literally stocked up. Fresh veggies, fruits, milk, juice. The real shit.

Rae joined Daryl standing off to the side as the rest of them joined the long table enjoying the red wine being passed around and of course Rae declined having any. She didn't want to rick being drunk in case the place wasn't safe as they thought.

"Oh, come on, we're celebrating." Shane looked at her. "A glass won't hurt." And when Rae didn't answer Daryl felt like he had to come to her recuse. "Back off." He warned Shane.

Rae smiled and shook her head and took a sip of her coke until Alex asked her if she could try the wine making her split out and haltingly choke on it. "What?"

"Yeah, Can I have a sip also?" Carl asked making Rae laugh. "No." She answered her daughter. "The world may have gone to shit but you're not drinking until you're 18 or 21. Legal age is 21 but let's see how I feel when you reach 18." Rae laugh but that laughter soon died.

"That's if I make it to 18." Alex said sassing her mom.

"You will. You will make it. You're going to live a long life, don't ever think like that." Rae told her daughter before exiting the room. Her eye watering just thinking about losing her daughter in this cruel world. She's going to do everything she can in her power to make sure Alex lives a fulfilling life.

"I was just kidding." Alex said in a small voice staring at where her mother disappeared.

"Don't ever kid like that again with your ma. This world is cruel, you're right you might not make it to 18." Daryl started ignoring the others around him even Rick who stood up. "But at least, show your mom that you will fight to live to that age, Hell, fight to live longer than that. Now, go apologize to your ma." Daryl instructed her pushing towards the hallway.

"Thanks, Uncle Daryl." Alex said pulling him into a hug before skipping out the door to find her mom.

"Well, it looks like we haven't thanked our host properly." Rick said clinking his glass to get everyone's attention.

"He is more than just our host." T-Dog said raising his glass along with the rest of the group who cheered agreeing with him.

"So, when are you gonna tell us what the hell happened here, doc?" Shane said cutting through the happy atmosphere. "All the- uh... the other doctors that were supposed to be figuring out what happened, where are they?"

"We're celebrating, Shane. Don't need to do this now." Rick said giving Shane a look to tell him to stop and just enjoy what they have right now. But he wouldn't stop.

"That's why we're here, right? This was your move, suppose to find all the answer. Instead, we, we found him. Found one man, why?" Shane questioned not really caring. He just wanted to find holes in Rick's plan to prove that he is a better leader than Rick.

"Well, when things got bad, a lot of people just left. Went off to be with their families. And when things got worse, when the military cordon got overrun, the rest bolted." Jenner explained the situation.

"Every last one?"

"No, many couldn't face walking out the door. They…opted out. There was a rash of suicides. That was a bad time."

"You didn't leave. Why?" Andrea stated.

"I just kept working. Hoping to do some good." Jenner said not telling the entire truth but he was telling the truth. And the break room was filled with silence. The happy atmosphere they had earlier was now gone. It didn't feel right to go back to that atmosphere.

"Dude, you are such a buzzkill, man." Glenn said walking out of the room and found Alex and Rae in the hallway. Alex was asleep in Rae's lap. Glenn couldn't help but see Rae quickly wipe away the tears that had fallen as she stared at her daughter.

"Hey." He said as he sat across from her. "You okay?" Rae nodded her head wiping her tears. "You know, what she said in there earlier. You know we'll fight for her right? Just like we'll fight for Carl, Sophia for each other. Just like you both do for us. We'll help protect each other. Protect her until she lives pass 18." Glenn said trying to lighten the atmosphere.

"It's just hard. If I knew this was the kind of world I was bringing her into. I never would have had her. This is not the world I wanted for her." Rae said hoarsely as she brushed Alex's hair who snuggled into her stomach.

"You know, before we met you bunch. We were holed up in our own house. She had two uncles who adorable her. They loved her so much. I didn't know, I didn't know they were bit. I left her in that house with them because we needed more food." Rae stared sadly at her daughter unaware of the listening ears in the other room.

"I came back to a messed-up house covered in blood. Two bodies in the living and there she was sitting in the middle right between them. She had to put them down. Two people who she loved most in the world, she had to put down. This isn't the world I wanted for her, not even one bit." Rae wiped the tears that came when she thought about her brothers and parents.

"Constantly worrying if a walker is going to pop out and take her away from me. I want to find a place that's safe. Safe enough for me to just raise her and teach how to survive in this cruel world if this is it. If she was taken from me, I don't know how I would survive. She's all I have left. She's it." Rae looked up to stare at Glenn.

"You don't think this place is safe?" Glenn asked taking a sip of the red wine bottle.

"It is, and it isn't. Enjoy the freedom of not having to worry about walkers but it doesn't feel permeant." They sat in silence, Glenn not having anything to say anymore.

"Thank you, Glenn." Rae said thankful because even though words weren't spoke that they protect one another, she was glad that Glenn told her giving her the relief she needed knowing that if something does happen to her. Her daughter would be looked after.

"She's not all that you have." Glenn started, "You have us too. We're family now." Glenn continue seeing the confusion on her. One of her rare smiles painted on her face as she stared at Glenn. "Thanks."


	4. Chapter 4

Glenn and Rae sat out there until the rest of the group came out following Jenner. Rick and Daryl stop by Rae seeing the sleeping teen. Looking between the two it would have been Daryl but Rae knew that Rick wanted to get to know his daughter.

"Rick, why don't you take her? Daryl can help you out." Rae said as Rick bent down to retrieve his sleeping daughter. Her hair fell back covering her face.

"Sleep." Rick whispered when it seems that she was going to wake up but she followed his direction and fell back into sleep.

"Most of the facility is powered down including housing, so you'll have to make do here. The couches are comfortable, but there are cots in storage if you like." Jenner continue and bent down to speak with the kids as Rick pulled into one of the room and laid Alex down on the couch with Rae following him and Daryl not so far behind.

"Thanks." Rae said setting down their bags as Rick bent down to brush her forehead. Signing softly Rick bent down and kissed her forehead whispering good night. At the same time, Daryl kissed Rae's forehead biding her good night.

"You can stay. I know you don't sleep well after Merle's gone." Rae grabbed his arm holding him at the door with Rick watching them. Daryl seem to pounder about it. "You're like my brother, even Alex thinks of you as her uncle. It's fine. It's not weird. I can take watch, I know you'd feel better if someone was. I slept plenty in the truck. I got this. Clean yourself up, I'll get a cot for you." Rae said grabbing his bag and throwing it to the far end of the room before leaving not realizing that Rick followed her.

"What's up, Rick?" Rae asked as she grabbed a cot from the storage room.

"Hey, if, if you and Daryl get together, would – would you tell me? I just want to know because Alex is going to be around him if you guys and I don't want her to call him dad." Rick said as they both grab a cot from the storage room.

"Daryl's like a brother to me but I mean, sure if it happens which I highly doubt. And Alex is never going to call anyone 'dad' maybe you but no one else." Rae tells him bringing a cot into the room she was staying and set up the cot for Daryl while he was in the shower. Rae smiled softly seeing the blanket that Daryl gave Alex tucking her in.

Rae made her way to the rec room deciding that it would be a good place there to keep watch and hear a scream. She ran ahead and found Shane and Lori. "What's going on?" Rae knew about the affair they had. It wasn't a secret as much as they wanted to keep it. She just never called her out on it because Rick was dead. But he's back and they need to either stop or tell Rick.

"Don't tell Rick. I don't want him to know. I'm not ready to tell him." Rae nodded not agreeing with her decision but it was her choice. She had no say.

Lori was shaking and Shane stumble away shocked by what he just did. "Oh, my god. Are you okay, Lori?" Rae pulled Lori into a hug, "hey, hey, it's okay. It's okay. Sh…" Rae helps her to her room without breaking down and quietly as Carl was sleeping.

Rae went back to the Rec room and sat on the couch keeping watch on the door and reading a book she picked up from the ground.

"What are you reading?" Rick appears drunk in the room.

"Uh…Level 4 Virus Hunters?" Rae said reading the title off the book she held in her hand along with ten other books she had out on the table in front of her not finding one she could stick with.

"Fun." Rick said letting out a humorless laugh. Rae closed her book, "Alright, monster what's wrong?" She asked knowing that expression he held from anywhere.

"Jenner just told me that everything was going to be okay!" He said in his slurring vowels. "When is everything ever okay? The whole had gone to shit. It is never going to be okay."

Rae silently agreed going back to reading her currently book waiting for Rick to continue talking but when she look back at him he had turned around and was coming down fast. He slid his head on her lap with a cheeky grin staring up at her.

"God, you're beautiful." Rick started and her heart pulse increased. Here it comes, the drunk phase where he confessed his feelings for her over all again.

"Thank you, monster." Rae rolled her eyes focusing on her book.

"I love you, Rainelle. I have loved you for as long as I can remember." Rick said his true feeling spilling from his mouth. This time, however he wasn't that drunk enough that he wouldn't remember the next day.

"I love you, monster." Rae responded back not taking her attention away from the book she held in her hand. Rick couldn't take her seriously but he enjoyed those words coming out of her lips even if they were true or not. He closed his eyes to rest them enjoying where he was now.

"You know, I wasn't confident in my call. When we got here and there was no one. I thought that I made a mistake and that we were going to die. No one believed in me as much as you did. Hell, even Lori didn't believe in me as much as you did. How can you give me so much trust?" Rick yawned.

"We don't love because of trust, but we trust because we love…" Rae said softly not knowing if Rick was sleeping, if he heard her or not. He did but he didn't want to risk opening his eye in case it was a dream. When he didn't respond, Rae assumed he was asleep. She set her book down and just gaze down lovingly at the man who held her heart all these years.

"You don't have to do it all by yourself. We're here, I'm here to share your burden." Her fingertips traced the outline of his face from the tip of his forehead to the end of his chin. She slowly traced his lip softly yet not touching them. It wasn't for her. He wasn't hers to touch.

"Why is it that you must be drunk to show me your true feelings and forget it all the next morning? What do you want from me, Rick?" Rae slowly and softly asks that question as if there would been an answer but she didn't want an answer that's why she waited until he slept to ask.

"I'm so stupid." Rae whispers to herself brushing along his jawline watching him rest his head down his head on her lap. "Yet I still love you." Her lips move to touch his but she stopped herself remember that she had a wife and a son. She moves and kisses his forehead biding him goodnight. She goes back to reading and keeping watch knowing that Lori's going to come looking for him at any minute now. Nope, she didn't.

The next morning came too slow for Rae. She wanted to get up but Rick wasn't waking up anytime soon. So, when Lori passed by Rae called out for help. "Lori! You wanna grab your husband?" Lori smiled in amusement and shook her head and kept walking with Carl by her side leaving Rae to stare at her with wide eye horrified. "Lori!" Rae yelled softly trying not to wake Rick up. She wanted to be gone by the time he woke.

So, when he woke she pretended to be asleep until he left but he didn't leave. He picks her up bridal style and walked to the room where her daughter and Daryl were both staying but both were already up and eating with the others in the break room.

"I know you're awake, Rainelle." Rick said calling her by her full name sending shivers.

"Ha, couldn't fool you huh?" Rae said getting out of his arm but he held her down. "Rick."

"I wasn't that drunk to forget the conversation we had yesterday."

"What conversation? We talked? Huh, I can't remember." Rae said acting confused trying to get out of his hold.

"Rae, why-"Rick started to but cut off by Rae. "Don't forget that you have a wife and son depending on you." The door to the room she stayed with opened and Alex walked in. Rick had let Rae go remember that he in fact did have a wife and son that he loved very much even if he was in love with her.

"Hey, ma. Rick. Breakfast is ready." Alex told them leaving the room as if she couldn't be in there any longer than she could be. Rae quickly follow her daughter seeing the way her daughter acted. It wasn't like her.

"Hey, hey Alex. Stop right there. What's wrong?" Rae said stopping her daughter who was walking away from her. They reached the rec room, thankfully no one was in there.

"Nothing, nothing's wrong." Alex said trying to invade her mother's question.

"Then why did you fled the room as if it was infested?" Rae said knowing her daughter that something was most definitely wrong and that Alex never kept anything from her, why this time?

"I know." She whispered quietly. "I know." She spoke in a loud tone. "I saw you together, last night, here. I heard what you talked about." Rae was stunned her daughter was up. "He's my dad, isn't he?" Alex concluded after seeing everything she put two and two together.

"Alex, baby." Rae started when Alex started to get a bit teary. "Baby, I'm sorry. I- I wanted to tell you but I know you. You're my daughter. I know you wanted to find your father and become a happy family." Rae said pulling her daughter into a hug as she spoke softly in case anyone else was there and listening.

"It was stupid of me to think that he would just be sitting there waiting for us. God, I am so stupid." Alex said to herself crying softly into her mother's chest.

"Hey, you're not stupid. You're my daughter. You are smart, beautiful and brave. That was just holding onto hopeless hope. And that's okay." Rae said holding her daughter's chin making eye contact to let her know the truth.

"We're still family. You don't need father, you have Daryl, Glenn, T-Dog, hell even Dale though he can be more of a grandpa." Rae said jokingly. She didn't need to find her real father, she had plenty to go around.

"So, what do I do? I don't want to hate Carl or Lori. I love them but I don't know how to feel about it. I hate that they're a happy family. When I rode with them, I was jealous when they talked about the trip they went on. I wished that I had that, that we could have gone on a trip with my dad too. I hate feeling like this, ma. What do I do?" Alex whispered through her tears and that was when Rae found that Daryl was also in the room just sitting quietly in the corner trying not to listen on their conversation.

"Honey, I can't tell you how to feel but I do know that it's okay to feel what you feel. You should feel that way. Don try to hold it in because it won't do you any good."

"I hate him. I really hate him. He's not my dad." Alex said darkly glaring at the air just thinking about the man who is her father. She's happy but she's also disappointed and angry. She knew that, that hope she held onto would never come true especially after the world went to shit. She found her dad but she wasn't waiting for them. Hell, he probably didn't even know she existed. He was happily married to a woman who she loves like a second mother and his child who she wants to protect like her own brother. It was too good to be true.

"You can hate him but he'll always be your dad." Rae started seeing Alex ready to argue, she didn't let her. "You hate him now but I know you'll come to love him just like your ma does."

"I don't want to ride with him when we leave." Alex said knowing that they weren't staying. She heard bits and pieces of her conversation with Glenn because she was in and out of it but she heard enough to know that her mother didn't want them to stay.

"You can ride with us." Daryl said interrupting finally making his presence known to Alex who had her back to him. She quickly wiped her tear becoming embarrassed showing her weakness remember that Daryl and Merle taught her to never show weakness in front of others.

"Come on, let's get breakfast. You too Daryl." Rae said nodding her head agreeing with Daryl.

Rae, Alex and Daryl walked into the break room to find everyone already in there making grabs at the food. Rae makes her way to Glenn who had his head down on the table with a plate of food placed in front of him.

"Here take this, it'll help." Rae said setting the small bottle of pain killers in front of him. They past Jenner in the hall and he gave them the pills knowing that the others would need them.

"Urg, not so loud, Rae" Glenn groan again making Rae giggle along with everyone else who laughed at the Asian.

"Here you go, Rae" T-Dog said handing her a plate of fresh powered eggs feeling proud of making them. "Come on." Rae waved over Alex and Daryl. T-Dog handed Daryl his own plate and Alex declined stating that she'll share with her ma because she knew that her ma wasn't a big fan of eggs but she'd eat what she could. They shared that small plate of food together not feeling too comfortable to get comfortable and be let down of having to leave.

Shane came in with marks on her neck. Daryl could see Rae tense and immediately became alert. Shane head over to the coffee machine and pours himself some coffee.

"Hey. You feel as bad as I do?" Rick said asking the last member of the group who arrived.

"Worse." Shane groan taking a big sip of the hot coffee.

"The hell happened to you?" Daryl asked seeing the marks on his neck that seemed to be caused by finger nails.

"Must've done it in my sleep." Shane replied his eye looking over at Lori who wouldn't meet his gaze.

"Never seen you do that before." Rick commented.

"Me either. Not like me at all." Shane said returning his gaze to Rick's before looking over the room. His gaze meeting Rae's who was glaring at him. His eye fell away and Daryl didn't miss the looks that passed.

"What happened?" Daryl quietly asked speaking so that only she and Alex could hear him. Rae shook her head indicating in a way that she'll tell him later but not now. Not with everyone there.

Doctor Jenner walks into the room looking more refreshed than he did when they just arrived. "Morning." He greeted everyone as they returned his.

"I don't mean to slam you with question first thing…" Dale started, "But you will anyways." Jenner finished for him knowing that they wanted to know if there was a possible cure.

"We didn't come here for eggs." Andrea said with a small little hope that there was something because when he spoke earlier she saw it. There was nothing left, no cure, nothing. But she wanted to be sure of it.

"Follow me." Jenner nods and leads the group towards the control center where they arrived first when he brought them down there. "Bring up the playback of TS-19" Jenner told Vi. "Few people ever got the chance to see this." Jenner told them but they could only be focused on the big screen trying to find anything.

The big screen lit up showing a brain, a human one. "Take us in for EIV" Jenner said with a sad tone indicating that he had a personal to the test subject.

"Enhanced Internal View." The computer spoke. The image shifted so the brain was looked at horizontally, the scan moving in closer showing electrical impulses around the brain.

"What are those lights?" Alex asked stepping closer to look at the image.

"It's a person's life. Experiences, memories, it's everything." Jenner told them. "Somehow in all that organic wiring, all those ripples of light; is you. The thing that makes you unique and human." Rae stepped into Shane's view blocking him from Lori. She met his eye with a raised eyebrow challenging him to do something. Daryl stepped closer seeing the exchange.

"You don't make sense ever?" Daryl said as the group stared in wonder at the little lights that seem to be a joke.

"Those are synapses, electric impulses in the brain that carry all the messages. They determine everything a person says, does or thinks from the moment of birth to the moment of death."

"Death? That's what this is? A vigil?" Rick steps in to stand closer to the screen trying to make sense of everything.

"Yes. Or r-rather the playback of the vigil." Jenner added staring at the screen.

"This person died? Who?" Andrea said stepping closer as if she was seeing Amy die all over again.

"Test Subject 19. Someone who was bitten and infected… And volunteered to have us record the process." Jenner said his voice getting emotional and horse. He tried to keep in the tears not wanting the group to know who the test subject was and how important she was to him.

"Vi, scan forward to the first event." Jenner commanded. The screen showed the same brain but in a different process.

"What is that?" Glenn asked incredulously.

"It invades the brain like meningitis." Jenner explained turning to the group, gesturing up at the image. "The adrenal glands hemorrhage, the brain goes into shut down, and then the major organs."

Darkness was starting to spread through the brain slowly taking over until the patient was completely gone. The brain dead. "Then death. Everything you ever were or ever will be…gone." Jenner said in a harsh tone.

"Is that what happened to Jim?" Sophia asked her mother in a small voice, echoing throughout the big room. Everyone looking miserable, Andrea the most thinking back to Amy. Alex sniffed thinking back to when she lost two of her most loved uncles and then her grandparents.

"Come mere." Daryl said to the girl bringing her into a hug as she cried softly into his chest. Rick starred in envied wanting to be the one to comfort his daughter. The one she counted on and called to for help.

"I lost somebody, too. I know how devastating it is." Jenner divulged. "Scan to the second event."

Jenner said not wanting to wail in grief like he did when she passed. "The resurrection times vary wildly. We had reports of it happening in as little as three minutes. The longest we heard of was eight hours. In the case of this patient, it was two hours, one minute…seven seconds." Jenner spoke as if he remembered it.

The screen shift forward in time though the image didn't change, until it slowly did. Little red and oranges sparks lit up around the brain stem, just about the brain stem but that was it. The lights lit up only in the brain, nowhere else.

"It restarts the brain?" Lori asked incredulously, the surprise in her voice echoed the surprises on all our faces.

"No…" Rae said looking closely at the image. "Only the brain stem is lit up."

Jenner nodded agreeing with her, "Yeah, basically, it gets them up and moving."

"But they're not alive." Rick stated though it felt like it should have been more of a question. But he said what needed to be said, they have to know if the people who they were killing, if they were alive. If there was a chance to still save them but that would just be hopeless hope. No one wanted to bear the burden of choosing to protect one own family over the people who were once human.

"You tell me." Jenner suggest.

"It's nothing like before. Most of that brain is dark." Rick came to his own conclusion.

"Dark, lifeless, dead. The frontal lobes, the neocortex, the human part, that doesn't come back. The 'you' part. It's just a shell, driven by mindless instinct." Jenner informed them. The relief off their shoulder came but it didn't mean it was any easier. They still killed humans who were once people but it was more of putting them out of their misery.

"God, what was that?" Carol questioned and even without the noise the shot could be heard ringing out from behind the screen.

"He shot his patient in the head. Didn't you?" Rae said softly.

"Vi, power down the main screen and the work stations." Jenner instructed as he walked past the group, his arm crossed tightly against his chest like he wanted to tell them something but thought it was best he didn't.

"You have no idea what it is, do you?" Andrea guessed and from the defeated look on his face, she was right.

"It could be microbial, viral, parasitic, fungal." Jenner guessed knowing that he didn't know what it truly was.

"Or the wrath of God?" Jacqui interjected losing all hope. Wishing to just end everything, she didn't want to be in this world anymore. There was no hope for the old world they lived in.

"There is that."

"Somebody must know something. Somebody somewhere." Andrea vocalized wanting to see some kind of hope because without her sister, she didn't have anything to live for.

"There are other, right? Other facilities?" Carol asked and the look on Jenner was becoming clear as day. He didn't have answers that they wanted. Not the answer they needed, he was just as lost.

Rae drew her attention to the clock that was counting down ignoring the rest of them who conversed together. It was counting down but it was like Rae could hear the clocking tinkling slowly like a time bomb.

"Pack your bags, Alex." Rae stated drawing everyone's attention with her. "Pack Daryl's too." Rae said seeing the look on his face when she said it. She wasn't going to abandon him but she wasn't staying.

"Why?" Alex asked crossing her arms, "Just go pack your bag, young lady." Rae said in a rough voice. Alex slowly walked out of the room.

"Where are you going?" Rick asked before Alex could make it out of the room pausing in her steps wanting to know the answer to that question also.

"I'm not staying." Rae said turning her attention to Rick who had asked her the question.

"Where?" Rick pressed seeing no other safe choice for her to go.

"You wanna stay, stay. I'm not stopping you. But my family isn't going to stay."

"There is _nowhere_ to go. You'll just get her killed." Rick argued.

"You wanna stay in here and pretend the world didn't go to shit? I'm not gonna do that. My daughter, _my daughter_ is going to live pass 18. Hell, she'll grow old and find love. I'm going to make sure for it and staying here, pretending that we're not in a shitty ass world anymore is just a joke." Rae said raising her voice at Rick who questioned her abilities.

"My daughter will grow old and find love but not in this place y'all call safe. This isn't safe, this is just you pretending the world didn't just die. What's the point in living if you can't live?" Rae step closer to him, "Make no mistake, my daughter will grow old. Don't you _ever_ question my ability to protect my daughter." Rae said using her index finger to push him back.


	5. Chapter 5

As the group stared at their two leaders with different decisions of what they were doing, Dale steeped forward to break the silence.

"Doctor, I know this has been taxing for you, and I hate to ask one question," He said walking towards the red clock that was counting down in the corner of the room. "But that clock- it's counting down. What happens at zero?"

Everyone looked at what Dale was looking at but Rick and Rae who both wouldn't break eye contact still not agreeing.

Hesitantly, Jenner moved away from the group a bit and answered, "The…Basement generators—they run out of fuel." He replied moving away even farther from the group getting Rick's attention.

"And then?" Rick asks breaking away from Rae to stare at Jenner. When he didn't answer, "Vi, what happens when the power runs out?" Rick said asking the computer.

" _When the power runs out, facility-wide decontamination will occur."_

"Shit. Alex go pack your bag now. Carl, Lori, Carol you might want to start packing yours too. Pack the other's too." They didn't question Rae's authority. Rae looked at Rick and found him already staring at her, they both nodded to each other.

"Glenn, T-Dog, Shane you're with me." Rick said grabbing flashlights heading to the basement to see what Jenner was talking about.

"Daryl, Dale, Andrea, Jacqui. Go help clean out anything we can use, weapons, food, water. Anything." The group disburse after one another.

Rae headed to help everyone out and when the air condition turned off along with the lights, "Grab your bag, come on honey." Rae told Alex. "Grab your bag everyone, let's go." Rae yelled through the hall heading out following behind Jenner who came through the hall.

"Why is everything turning off?" Daryl asked out in the hall.

"Energy use is being prioritized." Jenna asked snagging the alcohol from Daryl's hand.

"Air isn't a priority? And lights?" Dale questioned his sanity.

"Come on" Rae rushed them together making sure they grabbed their bags following Jenner down to the control room.

"Zone 5 is shutting itself down." Jenner stated

"Hey, hey what the hell does that mean? Hey, man, I'm talking to you." Daryl said getting ahead of the group tired of the unclear information. "What do you mean it's shutting itself down? How could a building do that?" Rae rolled her eyes at his question.

Alex held her ma's hand squeezing tightly and Rae squeezed back. Rae was ready to go the only reason she hadn't left yet was because she didn't want the others to die if decontamination is what she thinks it means.

"It was the French" Jenner spoke almost directly to Andrea. "They were the last ones to hold out, as far as I know. While our people were bolting out the doors and committing suicide in the hallways, they stayed in the labs till the end. They thought they were close to a solution."

"What happened?" Jacqui asked.

"The same thing that's happening here." Jenner said sardonically, his smile dark. "No power grid. Ran out of juice. The world runs on fossil fuel, I mean, how stupid is that?" He said stepping up to the platform giving the bottle back to Daryl who snatched it back.

"Let me tell you - " Shane started clearly done with his bullshit. "To hell with it. I don't care." Rick intervene pulling Shane aside before he could land a punch on the doc. Rick turned to tell everyone to grab their things but found that they already had their bags with them. He nodded thankfully to Rae who ignored his thanks still mad at him for questioning her ability to protect her daughter. The daughter she raised with his help. Alex was _her_ daughter. _Hers._

"We're getting out of here now." Rick commanded to the group ready to go when an alarm blare through the air.

" _30 minutes to decontamination."_ Vi spoke through the control center. "Come on, let's go." Rae said ready to get out of there but just before she reached the door. It shut completely sealing them inside.

"Did you just lock us in?" Rae asked her voice deadly and glared pointed at the doc.

"He just locked us in!" Glenn stated with a high voice staring at the closed doors.

"You son of a bitch!" Daryl ran onto the platform ready to take down the doctor. Rae didn't stop him, she needed the door to open. She couldn't die here, not with her daughter so young. Not yet.

"Shane!" Rick yelled to get Daryl under control since Rae didn't say anything. She kept looking at the door trying to find a way to open the door.

"It's better this way." Jenner said seeing everyone panic and that's when Rae snapped.

"It's better this way? Bullshit!" She charged towards the man but Rick stopped her,

"What happens in 28 minutes?" And when Jenner didn't answer everyone else started to become more riled up.

"Do you know what this place is?! We protected the public from very nasty stuff." Jenner yelled tired of everyone getting all up in Shane's face. "Weaponized smallpox! Ebola strains that could wipe out half the country! Stuff you don't want getting out! Ever!" Everything he was saying was becoming clear to everyone.

"In the event of a catastrophic power failure…in a terrorist attack, for example...H.I.T.'s are deployed to prevent any organisms from getting out."

"H.I.T.'s"

"Vi, define."

" _Hits…High-impulse thermobaric fuel-air explosives consists of a two-stage aerosol ignition that produces a blast wave of significantly greater power and duration than any other known explosive except nuclear. The vacuum-pressure effect ignites the oxygen between 5,000 and 6,000 degrees and is used when the greatest loss of life and damage to structures is desired."_

"It sets the air on fire. No pain. An end to sorrow, grief…Regret. Everything." Jenner said calmly and Rae hugged her daughter as Rick hugged his family. Their eyes made contact but Rae couldn't look in them. No. She didn't want to believe that they ended there. There was more to life than just that

"Open the damn door!" Daryl yelled smashing the bottle against the door.

 _00:11:42:20_

Less than 15 minutes left. Rae wanted to help but Rick told her she needed to handle the women and children in their group and let the men do their work. It pissed her off that he was being sexist but she complied.

"You should have left well enough alone." Jenner said looking at the useless tries that the men of the group were doing. "It would've been so much easier."

"Easier for who?!" Lori shrieked.

"All of you." Jenner said turning his chair to them. "You know what's out there. A short, brutal life and an agonizing death."

"Your sister, what was her name?" He turned to Andrea trying to convince the group that what he's doing is best.

"Amy." Andrea whispered.

"Amy." Jenner nodded. "You know what this does. You've seen it. Is that what you really want for your children?"

"No." Rae answered and for a second it seems like she agreed with him but they were wrong. She would never agree with him. Never. "But out there, that's life. It's may be short, brutal but that's life and life is hard, of course. It always has been, what makes a difference now? Why? Because the dead rises back up. No."

"You're given life to live. Not give it away because you're in pain. You live so the one who died can be remembered. You get to live, they didn't, you live for them. You don't get to throw it away because you're in pain and there's nothing else to live for. There's always something to live for, life. Happiness, love. You just have to try, but you don't wanna try. You just want to give up." Rae said the harsh truth making the doc flinch back from her harsh glare and tone.

"You wanna take the easy way out. Go for it. But I don't. My daughter is going to live a full life, grow old and find love. She's going to live her life for others who have lost their protecting hers."

Rae watched him and tilted her head. "You, you're nothing. You're just another obstacle in her way." She said with a cold smile. "We'll make it out of here. And I'll show you how to live again." Rae finishes.

"There is _no hope._ " Jenner said stressing on hope.

"There is always hope." Alex said cutting in. There had to be. "Maybe it won't be you, maybe not here, but somebody somewhere else…"

"What part of 'everything is gone' do you not understand?" Andrea said tired of fighting.

"Listen to your friend, she gets it. This is what takes us down. This is our extinction event." Jenner said as the crying gets louder.

"This isn't right." Carol cries out hugging her daughter even more. "You can't keep us here."

"One tiny moment…a millisecond. No pain."

"My daughter doesn't deserve to die like this!"

"Wouldn't it be kinder, more compassionate to just hold your loved and wait for the clock to run down?"

"How is that better? Knowing that death is coming. It is not better." Rae said in a hoarse voice remember when she had to put Jim down. He knew it was coming, he was ready, ready to let go but they weren't.

Shane had grabbed a shotgun and was walking steadily towards Jenner, eyes calm and manic all at once. Rick and the other men tried to grab him like they grabbed Daryl from doing anything but he had walked right up to Jenner with the gun in his face loaded.

"Brother, this is not the way you do this!" Rick insisted. "We will never get out of here! He dies, we all die!" Shane's just yells and looks ready to pull the trigger. He loses it and seem to pull to trigger but Rick slams his aim elsewhere, which turned to be the computers. Rae uses her body to cover Alex from anything that may reflect their way.

When Rae looks up again it seems that everyone was staring at Rick, their leader to do something, anything. They're desperate. They were staring at their leader to do something as Shane's words echoed in their minds and it seems that even Rick was starting to lose it also. Rick stares at her feeling hopeless and the weight of everyone's stare.

"I think you're lying." Rae said continuing to hold Rick's gaze. "About no hope." She finally turned to face Jenner who avoided her gaze. "IF that were true, you'd have bolted with the rest or taken the easy way out."

"You didn't." Rick said realizing that something or someone kept him alive, kept his hope alive to live this long. Remember all the empty fuel drums sitting around in the basement. Hope kept him alive, he stayed alive for a reason.

"You chose the hard path. Why?" Rick said having his control back and Rae let him have at it. He was her leader, she'd follow him to death, follow him forever. And she wouldn't regret it. Alex wouldn't either because no matter how she felt about him right now, he was her father and in the end, he loved her just as much as Rae did.

"It doesn't matter." Jenner said trying to avoid the answer that they knew.

"It does matter. It always matters." Alex said defended her dad who she hated.

"You stayed when others ran. Why?" Rick pressed knowing that as they talked more the clock was ticking down.

"Not because I wanted to. I made a promise…to her. My wife." Jenner said pointing at the screen where TS-19 was pulled up earlier. "She begged me to keep going as long as I could. How could I say no? She was dying. It should've been me on that table. I wouldn't have mattered to anybody. _She_ was a loss to the world. Hell, she ran this place. I just worked here." Jenner cried softly staring at the only picture he had left of her.

"In our field, she was an Einstein. Me? I'm just…Edwin Jenner." Jenner shook his head remembering the work they did together as she exceled in the field. "She could've done something about this. Not me."

"Your wife didn't have a choice." Rick explained. "You do. That's…that's all we want…a choice, a chance." The resolved could be seen in Jenner's eyes. He would let them go.

"Let us keep trying as long as we can." Lori pleaded, her arms around Carl who was shaking and still with fear.

The door soon open and everyone quickly made their way out. Jacqui decided to stay. Andrea did too and Dale didn't want to go if she was going to stay. He was tired of losing people and if this was Andrea's decision, so be it. They made their way through the halls taking the stairs running up quickly and soon came to face their biggest obstacle; The sealed gates.

Shane and Daryl tried breaking the glass with the fire axes, Glenn and T-dog tried opening the gates using the keypad but it wasn't working. "Get back!" Rick yelled holding a grenade that Carol handed to him. Rae used her body to block Alex from the blast and Daryl used his to block hers protecting them both. The window blasted open alerting any walkers nearby but they didn't have time to worry about that. The building was going to blow anytime now.

"Go! Go! Go!" Rae said shoving Alex into the RV along with Carl and Lori. Rae shut the door ignoring the shouts of her daughter. All that matter was that her daughter was safe. She took out the walker that came too close to them feeling the blood spatter onto her skin. Dale and Andrea both came out with 20 seconds to spare.

"Get down." Rae screamed as Rick honked the horn. Rae tackled them as gently as she could behind the sack of sand protecting them from the explosion. The ground shook and the heat could be felt above her as she covered both bodies below her. Seconds after it passed Rae look up and found walkers everywhere some heading their way, some caught in the fire.

Rae help get Andrea and Dale into the RV before looking behind her once more at the safe haven that they had for a while. The building had crumbled with fire still burning and black smoke rising into the clear blue sky.

AUTHOR NOTE: Sorry this chapter was shorter and kind of boring. lol. I promise the next chapter will be better! With Love, JOY!


	6. Chapter 6

"So, this is it." Carol said expressing her frustration with the search turning up with no new leads on her daughter. "This the whole plan?"

"I guess the plan is to whittle us down in smaller and smaller groups." Daryl said showing his displeasure with the group splitting doubting Rick's leadership.

Rae stood behind the entire group tired of their all their complaining and blaming Rick for everything that goes wrong.

"Carrying knives and pointy sticks. I see you have a gun." Andrea said choosing that moment to verbally attack Rae who wasn't the only one who carried a gun in the group, Daryl was carrying one too but it didn't seem to matter to her.

"What? You want it? Take it." Rae said grabbing the pistol from her back and handing it over to her. "I'm sick of the looks you've been giving me and the looks you've been giving Rick." Rae said setting her bag down and grabbing her bottle of water and handing it to Lori who took it appreciatively.

"Honey, I can't imagine what you're going through. And I would do anything to stop it. But you have got to stop blaming Rick. It is in your face every time you look at him." Rae said softly looking at Carol.

"When Sophia ran he didn't hesitate, did he? Not for a second. Hell, I would have because I got to think about my own daughter before anything else. I don't know that any of us would have gone after her the way he did or made the hard decisions that he had to make or that anybody could have done it any differently." Rae said looking around at everyone's face that doubted Rick. "Anybody?" And when no one answered she got her answer not needing to say anymore.

"Ya'll look to him and then you blame him when he's not perfect. If you think you can do this without him, go right ahead. Nobody is stopping you." Rae said all she needed ignoring the guilt looks they all had on their faces.

"Come on, we need to get going." Rae said grabbing her pack ready to lead again. Andrea stopped her to hand back the gun without a single word because her expression spoke for her. Everyone looking at each other with the same thought and same guilt knowing what they were doing.

One shot. One single gunshot. It was only just one and it made Rae feel like the world ended. The dread feeling, she had in her stomach grew more as she looks back to the way they had first came from worrying about her daughter that had stayed behind with Rick, Shane and Carl.

Both Rae and Lori strayed farther away from the group still lingering about that gunshot they heart.

"You still worrying about it?" Rae asked Lori knowing the feeling she was feeling, both of their child were out there. There was no question about it, they knew what each other was feeling.

"It was a gunshot." Lori stated.

"We all heard it." Daryl replied looking around their surrounds with a softer tone after what just took place.

"Why one—Why just one gunshot?" Lori questioned with Rae comforting her as much as she could without showing the anxious feeling she held telling herself to trust Rick, to trust him to keep their daughter safe.

"Maybe they took down a walker."

"Please, don't patronize me. You know Rick wouldn't risk a gunshot to put down one walker, or Shane. They'd do it quietly." Lori argued not seeing the logic in his answer.

"Shouldn't they have catch up to us by now?" Carol question and Rae questioned herself with that question. Something had gone wrong.

"There's nothing we can do about it, anyway. Can't run around these words chasing echoes." Daryl said keeping an eye out.

"So, what do we do?"

"Same as we've been before. Beat the bushes for Sophia, work our way back to the highway." Rae answered for Lori giving her hand a small squeeze and a small smile.

"I'm sure they'll hook up with us back at the RV." Andrea cut in trying to comfort the worrying mother no needing two of them.

Lori look back one more time before making her way through the group and they continue to search more for Sophia but that dread feeling grew more in the pit of her stomach.

About 30 minutes later they were still stumbling through the wood when Andrea gets separated from the group and starts screaming for help.

"Andrea?" Rae yells out following the sounds of screams. A woman on a horse comes riding out and smacks the walker on top of Andrea killing it instantly.

"Rae? Lori?" The lady calls out.

"I'm Rae."

"I'm Lori." They both answer simultaneously.

"Rick sent me. Rae. you gotta come now."

"What?" Rae asked the dreadful feeling she felt coming back stronger.

"There's been an accident. Carl and Alex's been shot." As soon as the words were out of her mouth Rae didn't think twice but jumped on the back of the horse.

"Woah, woah, woah. We don't know this girl. You can't get on that horse." Daryl said but anything he said was ignored.

"Rick said you had others on the highway, that big traffic snarl?"

Glenn stared at the lady admiring her beauty and strength. He was breathless unable to speak only to agree with her.

"Backtrack to Fairburn Road. Two miles down is our farm. You'll see the mailbox. The name is Greene."

"Wait! I need to come too! Carl's my son!" Lori argues before they could leave.

"Carl's fine. My father performed surgery and fixed him up. Alex is bleeding out, we don't know her blood type and she's in bad shape. Rae has to come with me." The lady explains making Rae grip her hip tighter. She didn't want any longer and took off before Lori could ask or say anything else.

"We gotta get back, now." Lori said in a rush to get back to the highway to get to her son. The other could only agree seeing their leader take off on the back of a horse.

Seeing Dale and the RV in view, Lori ran up to Dale explaining the situation and that she needed to get there.

"Woah, slow down. What do you mean shot?" Dale asked trying to calm the hysterical mother. His question directed to the others in the group who seem to be more in control.

"I don't know, Dale. All I know is this chick rode out of nowhere like Zorro on a horse and took Lori." Glenn said answering his question.

"You let her?"

"Climb down out of my ass, old man. Rick sent her. She knew Rae and Lori's kid name." Daryl said getting back to his brother's bike.

Rick met Rae when she arrived outside of a farmland. His shirt was covered in blood, blood that wasn't his. Rae met his eyes and she could only stand there in silence as he came up to her.

"Rae…" Rick started but he didn't get to finish. Rae's hand swung out and slapped him right across his face.

"You promise! You promise to keep her safe! That's the only reason I let her go with you." Rae cried out as he held her in his arm trying to calm her down as she fought his hold. "You promise! I want to see her!"

"Hey, hey, hey." Rick said taking a hold of her face. "You need to calm down. She's losing a lot of blood and I don't know her blood type. We need to get her more blood and stabilize her while Shane and Otis are grabbing what we need to save her life." Rae could only cry silently nodding her head not even questioning who this 'Otis' might be.

"She can take mine. Our blood is the same. Type O-negative." Rae said pulling up her sleeve as Rick nods his head. Rick led her into the house and into the room that Alex was in. Rae just cried more seeing her daughter on the bed with bandages on her stomach.

"Hi, I'm Patricia. I'm going to be taking your blood." A small blond woman said coming into the room. She looks like a nurse, the way she handles things. Rae could only nod not wanting to move from her spot next to Alex but she had too. Thankfully, she didn't have to move far, she was only seat a few feet's away giving blood through the IV.

A smaller girl who look the same age as Alex if not older came in the room holding a glass of orange juice. She handed it to Rick who took it graciously before exiting the room all too quickly but the look on her face could be seen. She was afraid for Alex, afraid she wouldn't make it. Hell, Rae was also afraid but if she could help it she wouldn't let Alex die.

Rae stood by her side without speaking, she could only hold her daughters hand.

Nothing seem to be able to break her attention away from her daughter until she heard hushed voice outside the bedroom. The words, 'too late', and 'die' caught her attention.

"It's late. They should be back by now." Rick said to Hershel in a hushed voice not wanting to alert Rae.

"Rick, we can't wait any longer. Pressure's dropping again." Hershel tells him

"They should be back now." Rick said nodding his head. He knew what he needed to do. He needed to go and help, they should have made it back already. Whatever's holding them back is taking too long.

"I'm going with you." Rae said coming out from the room hearing the conversation.

"Wha- No, Rae. Are you insane?" Rick asked helping her hold steady.

"No, I'm perfectly sane. I need them to come back. I need those materials. I need _my daughter_ to be fine. Alive." Rae argued

"You're in no condition to do anything about it. You've given too much blood. You're barely on your feet. You wouldn't make it across the yard."

"I could say the same about you." Rae said seeing Rick having to hold onto the railing to be steady. "I'm going. I need to go."

"No, what you need to do is be here for _our daughter_ when she wakes." Rick said emphasizing on the word 'our' finally having enough with her denying the fact that he was Alex's father. "You need to be here."

"And what about you? She's not going to get to see her father one last time? Hell, she hasn't even gotten the chance to call you that!" Rae argued losing her strength by the second. She didn't drink the orange juice that Patricia had brought up for her after giving blood. The screaming wasn't helping it was draining her twice as fast. Black spots were starting to fill her vision and soon enough she was falling towards the ground. "Rainelle!" Rick's voice faded within her vision.

When She woke again, it was morning and everything came flooding back to her. "Alex, no." She whispers trying to get up only to be stopped by someone's certain hold. Rick sat next to her bed with his head down yet his grip was solid hard holding onto her hand. She was laying on a white bed with white blinding walls. The room was beautiful if it was a normal world but it wasn't. The sun rising shinning in through the blinds became a beautiful sight that one treasured not knowing when she would ever see such a beautiful sight ever again.

Rae tried to get up wanting to see her little girl yet also trying not to wake Rick up, she didn't succeed. Rick groan and woke up twisting his neck and stretching his muscles.

"Hey." Rae said softly staring at sitting up in the bed wanting to get to her girl but letting Rick take his time knowing that he'd probably was up all night.

"Hey, how are you feeling?" Rick ask seeing her awake and looking a little more refreshed with more color in her face. He sat on the bed holding her closer to him.

"How is she?" She didn't care how she felt all she cared about was her little girl, if she survived. "I-I fainted so who gave her blood?" She asked not wanting to conclude that her baby had died. She paused waiting for him to tell her about the news but he didn't.

"Glenn and T-Dog arrived later at night. T-Dog had a bad blood infection." Rick started like he was avoiding the topic of their daughter.

"Rick. How is she?" She pressed holding onto his hand harder than she should have.

"She's fine. Glenn is also Type O-Negative. He arrived just in time." Rick said softly brushing her hair to the side. And Rae let out an auditable sign of relief.

"I want to see her." Rae said trying to get out of bed but Rick held her down.

"You gave too much blood. You shouldn't have, you barely ate anything at the CDC and we've been on the road for three days since then." Rick nagged knowing that he didn't have the right to say anything having no relation with her. Their friendship ended 15 years ago when she left without goodbye or any contact at all. The relation between them were awkward now and he wanted to build back that friendship at least if he won't be able to love her like he should have before the world went to shit.

Lori stood in the doorway watching the way her husband fussed over Rae, something that he didn't do to her anymore. She knew that they had something, something more than what she and Rick had. Probably before she came along and ruined everything between them but she loved Rick too. She couldn't be jealous at her, how could she? After everything she's done to get her and Carl where they are today risking her life to protect theirs, she couldn't. But could she let him go after everything? After the world? She wouldn't be able to survive if she lost her husband even if she didn't have his heart, she needed some normalcy and she's willing to hold on for as long as she can. Watching them for a few more minutes not even feeling any aches in her heart letting her know that she didn't love him anymore. She may have a year ago and she still does but she's not in love with him anymore. Lori returned to her son, Carl who slept like a baby. He was only scraped by the broken pieces of the bullets, still needed surgery and blood. Now he was just resting.

Rae was made to stay in bed and that frustrated her because she needed to see her daughter but her room was downstairs and Rae was put upstairs. She probably wouldn't make it half way down before falling by herself. She could only listen to Rick and stay put but the longer she stayed the more annoyed she became and useless she felt. Rae made herself get up carefully and slowly in case she fell over if she got up too fast ignoring the plate of food set on the nightstand. Carl's room was just down the hall, that she could make and she needed someone to keep her company or to see someone else other than the damn white ceiling.

"Hey. You awake?" Rae knocked on the door quietly in case he was sleeping, he wasn't. He was up reading the comic book that she had once got him when she was on a run with Glenn. "How you are feeling kiddo?" Rae asked sitting down in the chair next to his bed letting out a soft sign of relief as the world stopped spinning.

"I'm fine…I want to be out there and help them look for Sophia. She' my friend, I should be out there with them." Carl admitted showing the same frustration that Rae had shown when Rick demanded her to stay in bed.

"I know the feeling, kiddo." Rae said ruffling his hair leaning back just taking comfort in his presence and soon enough she fell asleep in the arm chair.

She later woke when someone was trying to move her. "Hey." She greeted Rick who held her in a bridal style. "Hey." She said rubbing her eye as Rick carried her back to her room.

"Can I see Alex now? I'm pretty sure I had enough rest to last a lifetime, Rick." Rick ignored her as he walked down the stairs and sat her in a chair with a plate of warm food in front of her. Rae didn't feel like eating, she never felt like eating now days. Her stomachs gotten use to the feel of an empty stomach that it didn't bother her anymore. And when she did have food she always gave it away to Alex or Carl. Merle and a little nagging Daryl were the only ones who could make her eat her food.

"I'm not hungry, Rick. I just want to see my daughter." Rick was getting frustrated with her not eating. He saw the plate on the nightstand. It was untouched along with the orange juice. She needed to eat or else she won't have any strength.

Seeing the conflict, he was going through, Rae made an easy deal that he couldn't deny her. "You know, since we're down here…" She trailed off feeling a little anxious that Rick wasn't allowing her to see her daughter as if something was wrong. "Rick, why won't you let me see my daughter if everything's okay?" Rae question standing up with the strength she had left. "Rick."

"She's fine. If you eat, we can visit her for a few minutes." Rick bargain with her knowing no other way to get her to eat but it brings a smile to her face. She remembers when she wouldn't eat and Merle would bargain with her using her daughter.

"Merle use to do the same. He used to bargain with me to get me to eat. I got them to teach Alex how to hunt and use a crossbow." Rae said smiling softly remember the times they would argue over teaching Alex how to hunt. Merle was a really asshole but he cared enough for Alex. Maybe it was just that Alex reminded him of the daughter he never got to see. And where Merle went, Daryl followed becoming close to her daughter looking out for them as she looked out for Lori and Carl.

Rick felt a pinch of guilt knowing that he cuffed Merle on a rooftop that possible caused his death. He watched her eat until she finished the entire plate before getting her some orange juice to replenish her white blood cells. After finishing everything Rae even look up at him and open her mouth to show him she swallowed everything mocking him in a way.

"Come on, silly head." Rick said trying to keep the laughter out of his tone leading her towards the room that Alex was currently in. She was still resting or sleeping, Rae couldn't tell. "She hasn't woken up yet." Rick tells her softly as he closed the door behind him.

"Why not? I thought you said the surgery went fine?" Rae questioned not taking her eyes off her sleeping daughter.

"We don't know. She could possibly be in a coma. We don't have answers. Hershel's just a veterinarian, he also doesn't know. The best we can hope is that she wakes up soon." Rick said explaining the situation to her.

"Oh, god. Baby. I'm so sorry. Mama's here now. I'm here." Rae said crying softly holding onto Alex's hand. "I want to stay here for the night. I'm not moving from this place, Rick." Rae tells him and he knew it would happen. It was the reason he didn't want her to see Alex but he wouldn't be able to move her. She wouldn't move. She didn't want to move.

"I should've gone with you. This wouldn't have happened if I was there. I shouldn't have left. I won't leave you again."

"Rae, you have to rest. Your body needs it. You can't stay here." Rick said softly and she ignored him just wishing that he'll go away but he didn't. He stayed and it pissed her off even more. "Rae. You can't stay here." Rick said again but with command. "Rae, if you don't get up I'll have to move you." Rick said and again his words fell death to her ears. He signed hating to do it to her but he had too. She couldn't stay down there with Alex.

Rick grabbed Rae and carried her up the stairs as she struggled in his arms. He almost dropped her but quickly threw her onto the bed that she bounced on.

"Rick, you can't keep me here! She's my daughter." Rae yelled sure that the rest of the group able to hear her but she didn't care.

"You need to rest. Rest." Rick said leaving no room for argue but Rae wouldn't let that happen. She was looking for a fight.

"You once told me I couldn't protect my daughter. Look at where she is now because _you_ couldn't protect her! You freaking promised me that you would look after her and keep her safe! This is _your_ fault!" Rae yelled getting out all her frustration that Rick knew she needed to get out like she always had too when they were friends.

"You were supposed to protect her! You failed at being a father to her and now you fail at protecting her!" Rae yelled standing on top of the bed.

"That wasn't my fault you know that." Rick said trying to keep calm knowing she was pushing all his buttons.

"It _is_ your fault! I told you! _I told you!_ If you weren't so drunk every time we hung out then maybe you wouldn't have missed 15 years of her life!" Rae yelled throwing the pillow on the bed at him.

"How was I supposed to know if I was drunk?!" Rick finally raised his voice at her getting frustrated with all the blame she accused him of.

"God, you are so obnoxious! You should have known!" Rae argued needing someone to blame throwing another pillow at him. "Hell, she found out you were her father after just one week with you!"

"She knows?" Rick said worried how Alex felt about him being her father with a family of his own.

"Of course, she knows. She's our daughter." Rae said tired of everything, of this ugly cruel world. Her strength had also diminished.

Rick joined her on the bed letting the information process through his mind. "H-How?"

"She heard of us talking at the CDC and put two and two together. I didn't correct her when she asked me." Rae said joining his side.

"How does she feel about- You know?" Rick said not sure what to ask or where to start.

"She hates you." Rae said without hesitation not beating around the bush.

"She-she does?"

"Don't worry. She'll get there like I did. She'll come to hate you as much as I do." Rae said and Rick knew what she meant. Rae never like saying the word love. She always used the word hate to complete it. Not knowing she would say it when he was drunk.

"I really, really hate you. So much, you don't even know." Rae said speaking the unspoken words between them. Rick knew, Rae knew, they both knew yet no one made a move on it. It was too late for it. He was married and she was happy with just Alex. Alex connected them both together forever and she was content with just Alex even if she couldn't get him. She was okay.


	7. Chapter 7

Rae woke up the next morning really refreshed and rested. Her stomach was full and she had a well-rested night. She was thankful to Rick who let her yell at him. She knew it was wrong of her to yell at him and blame him for everything especially after telling the group not to blame him for the consequently that happens with his decision. She knew what Rick said was true. She couldn't stay by Alex's side because if she did she would go crazy. They needed her to be strong and so she had to rest and build up her strength.

Rae could finally go outside and she enjoyed the warmth of the sun and her weapon belt on it with her gun and knife in each side. She felt safe, more comfortable knowing that if something happens, she has a way to help herself and protect the people she needed to protect.

Rae walks up to where Carol was hanging the laundry. "Morning." She greeted and started to help. Lori walks out a short while later after they were half way through almost done.

"Can't believe I slept in." Lori said walking up to help.

"You must have needed it." Rae said in a teasing tone that implied that maybe she was up late.

"Feeling alright?" Carol asked hanging up one of the men's shirt.

"Next time wake me, all right? Especially on laundry day." Lori said ignoring Rae's teasing tone knowing that the reason she slept in wasn't because of that.

"We can manage." Carol started and paused a moment before continuing. "I had an idea. I wanted to run by you." Lori hummed for her to continue.

"That big kitchen of theirs got me thinking. I wouldn't mind cooking in a real kitchen again. Maybe we all pitch in and cook dinner for Hershel and his family tonight. Kind of looking for things to keep my mind occupied." Carol explain her plan to Lori.

"After everything they've done for us, seems like the least we could do." Lori said agreeing with her plan along with Rae nodding knowing for a fact that she wouldn't be helping. Her in a kitchen, she would probably burn down the house.

"You mind extending the invitation?" Carol said. "Would just feel more right coming from you."

"How so?" Lori asked confused.

"You're Rick's wife. Sort of makes you our unofficial first lady." Rae said getting to what Carol was getting too. Lori nods and goes back to hanging the laundry and Rae goes off to where the group was currently looking over plans to help look for Sophia. Lori didn't feel like the first lady probably because she doesn't do anything. If anyone should be the first lady it would be Rae.

Carol stop Rae from leaving, "You know, you don't have to look for her, my Sophia." Rae stared in confusion why she wouldn't want an extra pair of hands to help look.

"With Alex not waking up yet. You should just be by her side." Carol explain.

"Just because my daughters in a coma doesn't mean I should stop helping." Rae smiled softly at Carol. "I know she's safe here. Why should I sit around doing nothing when I could help find your daughter?"

"You could help us cook."

"Honey, trust me. You don't want me in the kitchen. I'd probably burn down the house. I'm better use out there." Rae said stepping away and towards Rick and the others. "Morning, guys." Rae said as she approached the group.

"Rae. It felt like we haven't seen you in forever." T-Dog greeted her by pulling her into a hug. "How you are feeling?"

"I'm better now." Rae answered taking her place next to Daryl looking over the map along with the rest of the group ignoring Rick's glare at her.

"Nothing about what Daryl found screams Sophia to me." Shane interrupts. "Anyone could have been holed up in that farmhouse."

"Anybody includes her, right?" Andrea snaps.

"Whoever slept in that cupboard was no bigger than yay-high." Daryl said defending himself knowing he was on the right track.

"It's a good lead." Rae said to the rest of the group defending Daryl knowing that he was the best tracker, no doubt about it.

"Maybe we'll pick up her trail again." Rick said agreeing along with the rest of the group nodding along ignoring Shane's input.

"No maybe about it. I'm gonna borrow a horse, head up to this ridge right here, take a bird's-eye view of the whole grid." Daryl said showing everyone on the map what he was talking about. "If she's up there, I'll spot her."

"Good idea, maybe you'll see your chupacabra up there too." T-Dog said adding his sardonically comment. Confused, Rick echoed the word as everyone still found some amusement with T-Dogs comment.

"Oh, you never heard this?" Dale asked ruffling through the duffel bag. "The first night in camp, Daryl tells us that the whole thing reminds him of a time when he went squirrel hunting and he saw a chupacabra." Rae chuckles remembering the time when he told the story around camp.

"What are you bragging at, Jackass?" Daryl said giving Rae the death glare and Jimmy, one of Hershel's daughter's boyfriend who laughed.

"So, you believe in a blood-sucking dog?"

"Do you believe dead people walking around?" Daryl snap back.

"Hey, hey. Ever fire one before?" Rick ask Jimmy who reached for the shotgun not trusting him with a gun.

"Well, if I'm going out, I want one."

"Yeah, and people in hell want Slurpee's" Rae chuckled to herself finding herself to miss all the arguing like she hasn't heard them in forever. As she went to grab her gun, Rick placed his hand on hers. "You're staying." Rick said leaving no room to argue.

"Wha-What? What do you mean?" Rae said outraged at his command.

"You're staying period."

"Why? I rested. I'm fine now. I'm strong enough to go out there and help. I can't just sit in the house all day and do nothing."

"Go help the ladies cook." Rick said teasing her knowing she couldn't cook.

"You know I can't cook for shit." Rae said crossing her arms. "I can help Rick. I'm not useless."

"I want you to stay here." Rick started and Rae cut him off. "No- "

"Let me finish. I want you to stay here in case Alex wakes up. You'll be the first person she wants to see." Rick reasoned but Rae still didn't agree.

"Like I said, I can't sit around and do nothing. I need to be out there. If she wakes, I'll see her when I come back. I'm going out to look for Sophia period."

"You should stay." Daryl said cutting into their conversation.

"Wha- Daryl, not you too!"

"Look, when Alex wakes up. I rather she sees and knows that her mother is safe and not out there looking for Sophia possibly risking her life. I'll find Sophia. You stay here. I'm not gonna say this twice. You're staying." He added seeing Rae ready to argue with him.

"You're kidding." Rae said shaking her head heading to the house where her daughter rested. Rae spent the rest of the morning sitting by her daughter's side and feeling useless. She finally decided that if she couldn't do anything else. She'd help keep watch at least. She sat up on the RV for probably an hour or so before Rick and Shane arrived back from searching.

Rick look a little bit agitated and Rae climb down to meet him. "What's wrong? What happened?" Rae said looking at Rick and a look at Shane who too look agitated.

"He wants to call off the search." Rick said nodding his head towards Shane who was putting away their weapons.

"Why?"

"He thinks she's dead and that we can't go out there risking our lives for a little girl that might be dead. What do you think I should do? Should I keep looking or stop?"

"What would you tell Carol?" Rae said. "What if it was Carl? You'd want to keep looking, right?"

"If it was Carl, yes I'd want to know one way or another." Rick said nodding his head.

"You have your answer. He's not a parent, he wouldn't understand." Rae said touching his arm as a sign of comfort.

"Shane says my good intention are making us weaker, that I can't make the hard decisions for the good of the group."

"They're all hard decisions." Rae disagrees knowing that Shane didn't understand the world any better than the rest of them.

"But maybe I'm holding onto a way of thinking that doesn't make sense anymore. He says it's math, basic survival – how much fuel, how much food, how much ammo. Not much room in that equation for being soft. It's pretty simple when you start thinking of life like that."

"Hey." Rae said grabbing onto his cheeks to make him face her, to keep looking at her not realizing how intimate she was being grabbing him like that.

" _None of us_ were prepared to be living live this way. You are making the best decisions you can with the information you have. It's nothing wrong with having a little bit of hope." Rae said continuing to hold his cheeks. "You're a leader, Rick. Go with your gut, it never tells you, you're wrong. It's one of the reasons I followed you this far." Her voice came to a whisper since their face were so close to each other.

He nodded having nothing else to say. His eyes dropping to her pink flushed lips. Rae bit her bottom lip and looked away hearing the soft footsteps approaching them. Her hands fell to her side and she took a step away from him leaving space between them.

"Mr. Grimes. My dad wants to talk to you." Beth, Hershel's youngest daughter said in a timid tone like she was interrupting something. She quickly made her escape out of there after letting Rick know that her dad wanted to talk to him which Rick nodded too letting her know he heard her not taking his gaze off the woman in front of him.

Rae wouldn't look at him, she couldn't. She waited for him to walk away and he did after a minute of staring her down. She was a coward, she couldn't face him knowing that feelings were return. Maybe if the world was normal but the world had died and his family needed him. She's seen Lori, Lori would never pick up a gun or knife to protect herself. She relied on others to protect her. Lori and Carl both needed him and she couldn't just take him away from them, she wouldn't be a homewrecker.

Andrea and T-Dog appeared out of the forest. Andrea immediately headed for the RV climbing on top with the rifle unsatisfied with no trace of Sophia in their search. Rae grabbed her things out of the truck and started to set up her tent near the side of the house farther away from her group but close enough.

"What are you doing?" Rick asked coming up behind her as she starts putting her tent up. "You have a room inside."

"Look, Rick I know you think I should be by Alex's side but it looks like she isn't waking up anytime soon, okay. So, I need to do something, I can't just sit around by her bedside and do nothing otherwise I'll just feel useless and I hate feeling useless. You know that. So, either you help me or walk away." Rae said going back to putting up her tent when Rick grabbed a side and started to help her choosing his option. "Thank you." She muttered quietly under her breathe that Rick heard her and no one else.

"There, finished." Rae said putting in the last screw into the ground securing it. "Isn't it beautiful?" She said sarcastically.

"Definitely." Rick agree his gaze on her and not on the tent.

"Dale will want these back for sure." Rae said bending down to pick up Dale's tools and when she found that Rick wasn't helping she turn to find him checking her behind.

"Rick! A little help?" She said with a teasing smile. He cleared his throat and bent down beside her. "By the way, I think you have a nice behind too." Rae said with a little laugh in her tone as she gave him a wink. Unsure why she was acting this way when she already decided she wasn't going to ruin his marriage but maybe a little fun didn't hurt. Lori did have her fun with Shane, so what could happen?

Rick stared at her with wide eyes like he just got caught with his hand in a cookie jar. Who knew he could be so adorable with those wide blue eyes just staring at her. "Come on, sillyhead." Rae said giving Rick a quick kiss on his cheek before grabbing Dale's tools and heading over to the RV.

"Hey." Rick grabbed her before she could move, looking around their surrounds to see if anyone could see them. She had secluded herself from the group a little that the trees were blocking them from view from the others in the camp. The house, though had a full view of them but they were far enough that he didn't care. He pulled her closer to him and slammed his lips on hers. Her lips are soft and sweet. His hands immediately find her hips and pulls her closer with one hand on her neck and the other holding her to him.

"Rick." Rae lets out a gasp trying to deny him but everything flew out the window when his lips met hers. She couldn't think straight and could only feel the man in front of her. He pushes her against one of the trees and continues to kiss her, getting lost with the feel of her. She lets out everything that she could into the kiss, the feelings she's been bottling up, the need and want she's been hiding and all the fear of what could happen is released. Rae couldn't help but cling onto him as he pushes her against the tree making her jump up and wrap her legs around his waist.

"WALKER! WALKER!" Rae whipped around at Andrea's shouting like a walker was on camp with them. She totally just ruined the moment/make – out between Rick and Rae. Rae grabbed her knife and made a mad dash for the field forgetting to fix her hair and Rick ran for the RV to grab his gun after telling Shane that Hershel wanted to deal with walkers but Shane wasn't hearing it.

T-dog, Shane and Rick all followed her out. Rick pointed his gun at its head and they found that it was only Daryl but with all the mess they weren't sure if he was a walker or not.

"That's the third time you've pointed that thing at my head. You gonna pull the trigger or what?" When he spoke, everyone let out a sign of relief knowing for sure that he hasn't turned. Rae let out a relief sign and steps up to hug him. A shot rang out, Rae and Daryl both fell onto the ground. A horror of screams yelled out in the field.

Rick ran to check on Rae while Shane check on Daryl. The bullet had graze their heads missing by just an inch otherwise they would be dead. "Rick." Shane said trying to help Daryl up but he was too heavy. Relent to leave her side but he had too, to help get Daryl up and back to the house to get patched up. Glenn help get Rae up, she was in and out of it. The pain was wearing her down and she had only gotten better yesterday.

"I was kidding." Daryl said before completely fainting losing the rest of his strength to continue.

"I'm okay." Rae said with the help of Glenn, she got back onto her two feet. She was okay but she was pissed that she got shot at.

Dale and Andrea came racing through the field. "Oh god, are they okay? Are they dead?"

Rae marched right up to her and snatched the rifle from her. "When you can tell the difference from walker to human. You'll get this back." She held her hand to the bleeding wound glaring at Andrea as she walked away. Glenn caught up to her to help keep her steady when T-Dog called out.

"Guys, isn't this Sophia's?" He held up the doll that Sophia had got as a goodbye gift from Morales kid daughter.

"Come on, he needs to get fixed up." Rick said rushing to get Daryl fixed up so they can know what he found and where.

Lori tried to give the kitchen cloth to Rae for her bleeding wound but she shook her head. "Daryl needs it more than me." She said as Beth and Patricia help her walking her to the house.

"Rick, Rick." Lori said stopped Rick who was hold a wounded Daryl with Shane.

"Not a good time." Rick said moving forward ignoring his wife and focused on the wounded Daryl who has been unconscious for a few minutes now.

"Let's get him inside and on the bed." Hershel instructed getting to work on Daryl's wound. In the middle of getting fixed up Daryl had woken back up with more strength than before and getting right into business. "I found it washed up on the creek bed right there. She must have dropped it crossing there somewhere."

"Cuts the grid almost in half." Rick said looking back at Shane who doubted that, that little girl wouldn't be alive anymore.

"Yeah, you're welcome." Daryl said oblivious to the tension between Rick and Shane.

"How's he looking?" Rick asked.

"I had no idea we would be going through the antibiotics so quickly." Hershel comments still annoyed that Daryl took the horse and that the women were cooking in his house. "Any idea what happened to my horse?"

"Yeah, the one who almost killed me? If it's smart, it left the country." Daryl retort.

"We call that one Nelly, as in nervous Nelly. I could have told you she'd throw you if you'd bothered to ask." Hershel said in a calm tone wiping his hand clean. "It's a wonder you people have survived this long."


	8. Chapter 8

Rae found her answer to just avoid Rick the next day and following if she could, for now it was working because Rick ended up doing the same. She managed to avoid him in the morning doing a quick perimeter check or to gather some firewood. Carl was finally up and able to move around and he decided he wanted to help Lori feed the chickens. He was energetic, full of life and that only made her feel guiltier about kissing Rick, about making a move on him and possibly destroying their happy family.

Rae dropped the fire wood at the fire pit and moved to check on Daryl. "You okay in there?" She yelled from the opening of the tent not wanting to dirty the inside where he slept with T-Dog.

"Yeah." Daryl said going back to playing with his arrow bored out of his mind, not liking that he had to rest and leave the rest of the search to the others. If they couldn't find her then they would only just mess up her track and make it even more harder to find Sophia.

Glenn stopped her and offered a peach with some jerky. Rae was delighted of the treat yet Glenn was nervous and anxious. "You know…" she started and it startled Glenn making him jump. "I realized that I never thanked you for the blood you gave to Alex when I passed out." She said slowly wondering why he was so nervous and anxious and if it was because of her. "If there is anything, anything you need - " Glenn cut her off shaking his head,

"No! I don't need a thing. Everything's fine. I'm cool. We're cool." Glenn stammer and grabs the basket and quickly leaves her side in a rush making Rae think as if she had done something to offend him or something.

"Okie" She watch him run off skittishly. She threw a peach at Daryl which he caught and gave him the piece of jerky as Andrea left the tent after making an apologize to him. She didn't have to apologize to Rae but it would be nice if she did. She didn't even turn in her direction because she was worried about Rae still being mad at her for almost killing them both. Daryl forgave her but Rae didn't say anything, if Daryl forgave her what else was there to say.

Rae sat watching everyone do their thing while she sat by Daryl's side. It made her think back to yesterday when she a conversation with him. He pretty much broke her heart all over again, it wasn't a surprise because it wouldn't be the first time he did it without knowing. She just expected too much from him.

 _After a quiet dinner with the ladies helping in the kitchen and everyone else getting ready for bed, Rae snuck out in the dark not really – she just sat on the porch in the dark alone which was dangerous but she needed some time alone and with Rick in there with the rest of the group this was the only way to even avoid him._

" _What are you doing out here?" She looked over her shoulder and found Rick leaning against the outside of the door frame. Looks like her avoiding him didn't work after all. The inside door was shut so no one would hear their conversation if it was something they needed to keep a secret like that make-out session they had earlier in the day. "It's not safe to be alone after dark, not even here. You should know that."_

" _I do but I can take care of myself. You should know that." Rae retorted. Rick smiled in return shaking his head at her as he walked forward and stopped when her voice interrupted him._

" _Rick, what are we doing?" Rae said sighing softly looking at the dark sky with billions of stars blinking back at her, at them as if the world was still normal but it wasn't. The world was shit._

" _I don't know but I want to give this, what we have a try." Rick said taking a seat next to her looking at the sky with her. He grabbed her hand and pulled her closer to him as the night got darker so did the temperature._

" _I don't want to give this a try. I've had feelings for you for as long as I can remember. My heart hasn't changed, not once in 15 years. And if we do give this a try and it doesn't work out, I don't know if I can recover from that." Rae said not knowing if she could put herself in that vulnerable situation especially with the world gone and done. It wasn't normal anymore where she had parents or siblings to run too. She was alone and all she had left was her daughter who was still in a coma not seeming to wake up any time soon._

" _I don't know what I want. But I do know that I have strong feelings for you for the longest time. I haven't forgotten about you not once in the time that I have been married." Rick confessed but he wasn't saying it. Not the way Rae was, she was giving her all but Rick, he held back like he was unsure of everything he was doing. He could only kiss the front of her hand hoping she would give them a chance because that's all he wanted, a chance with her._

" _I know what I want. I know for a fact that I want to spend the rest of my life with you if you'll have me. If you're not sure, don't give me hope. Just-just leave me alone." Rae said finally looking at him as he turned to her. His eyes gave her the answer she needed, he wasn't ready to give her his all. She gently pulled her hand away from his and stood up, sighing, Rae brush off the dusk and headed to the tent she had put up earlier with Rick. "Good night, Rick."_

"Rae! You coming?" Shane yelled from across the camp. Everyone was headed to an abandon area for target practice.

"No, I'm good. I'll stay and keep watch." Rae yelled back from where she sat wanting to keep avoiding Rick for as long as she could. She watched as the entire group drove off to target practice before getting ready to head into the forest.

"Where you going?" Daryl asked sitting up from his cot.

"Out." Rae said short and simple.

"Hey. Rae." Daryl called out when she didn't answer him the first time.

"Go see your daughter. I know you haven't gone to her bedside all day."

"What's the point if she doesn't wake up?" Rae replied empty of everything.

"Hey. You can't think like that."

"Kind of hard not to when she hasn't woken up." Rae sighs. "I'm kind of losing hope here, Daryl. Sitting around doing nothing, feeling useless is giving me time to think about the what if my daughter doesn't wake up, how will I continue without her?"

"Hey, she's a strong girl. She's your daughter, she'll wake up anytime now. Don't lost hope now." Daryl watched as she walked off towards the field nearing the forest. Daryl sign to himself knowing that he wouldn't be able to stop her if she decided that she was going to leave or go on a little hunt, hunting walkers he'd bet.

His mind wandered back to the blonde teen who brought him dinner late last night. She had a light surrounding her, not losing hope and she looked at him like he was a good person she could trust. He didn't like the feeling because in a world shitty as this one, there were no more good people left in the world. She just didn't know. Not yet anyways.

"Yeah." Rae walked off still feeling hopeless about everything. The situation with Rick and with her daughter and with the world and Sophia. There was too much going on for her to handle, nothing was working in her life ever since everything went to shit. Before she was happy, happy with her parents watching them care for one another with so much love in their eyes making Rae jealous of it. Her siblings that would always protect her and her daughter, always there to pick her up. But now those good memories are just filled with their deaths.

Alex having to put down two people she loved and Rae wasn't even there to help her or protect her. She shouldn't have had to do what she did. Rae could remember her daughter after the event. She was quiet, didn't speak much. She didn't have the same spark in her eyes or innocence. Her eyes were cold like she was an empty shell. It didn't help that the people they encounter were bad people. Always wanting to take advantage of them and Rae couldn't help but be glad that Alex didn't remember anything from the time she was like that.

The things that she had to do to keep them alive in just one month. It buried her in darkness, complete darkness. The only light was her daughter and even after the memories were buried Alex was her only hope.

It wasn't until Daryl and Merle came along and toughen her up that she opened back up. She became herself again, and Rae knew that it was because she hunted with Daryl and Merle. Hunting became her escape, she didn't have to think about anything else but focus on her task. She became herself again and it was all Rae could ever be thankful for.

Rae wondered around the field and let her feet take her wherever, she was thinking of the forest to go in there and look for Sophia or just to be alone and maybe kill a few walkers if she came upon them but she found herself by her daughter's bedside.

Her knife in hand as she held her daughter's hand in the other facing the window. She stared out in the sun watching as it set. Beth had come to get her for dinner but she didn't move from her spot. She couldn't find herself to leave. She wanted a sign, something from her daughter, from God if that was how it work. She needed a sign, something to give her to hang onto without losing hope. But there was nothing until there was something. Alex had just gripped her hand slightly but as it came it gone. But that was enough for her, that was enough for her to hold onto.

It was sundown when Rae headed back to her tent with a rare smile on her face. She was happy, her daughter was showing signs of waking up and that was all she needed. On her way, back she was pushed against the same tree that Rick pushed her into when he kissed her.

"Rick." Rae gasp as her back hit the tree bark. She didn't get to ask him anything. He slammed his lips against her and pulled her closer to him. One hand on her hip and the other grabbing her thigh and yanking it up to his hip letting them mold together beautifully. He carried her into her tent settling with her on the soft ground.

He groaned as their body mold together fitting just right, he tilted her head so he could deepen the kiss. Their breath mingled together, heated, humid and so frantic that she couldn't decipher who was panting more harshly.

"We shouldn't be doing this…" Rae trailed off as he kissed down her neck and unbuttons her shirt as he went. His lips hovered over her pulse, which was beating fast and hard beneath his lips.

"No, I really think we should." He said before bringing their lips back together and holding her tight against him so she could feel just how much he really wanted her. Her hand searched his back stroking it softly just loving the feel of him within her reach.

He tensed and pulled back for a second just glazing at her naked front. She was exposed in front of him, her unbutton shirt open giving him leeway with her as much as he pleased. His eyes darken and grew hazy but they also held a hint of something else. Something dark, Rae took that as lust; a promise of what was to come and ignored whatever else that lurked in his eyes. There was anger, sadness and pain in his gaze but she didn't question it. It felt too good being in his arms for her to question the sudden moment.

Rae suddenly moan as he slid his body upwards grinding his hip against hers, he stared down at her in a wicked smile. Her hips rocked in reply, her core dampening as he pressed his growing bulge beneath his jeans farther into her hips. She gasps holding onto him loving the feeling. Her legs wrapped around his waist tighten and she flipped them over so she was on top. That didn't stop her movement, she kept grinding her body against him while unbutton his dark gray shirt.

Rick held her hips with his hand helping her move against him as she unbuttons his shirt. He stroked the sides of her naked body reaching up to unclip her bra. It fell along her arms as she shudders against him. She moaned his name quietly making him chuckle.

Unable to take anymore teasing, she reaches down for his belt unbuckling it. As their naked bodies touched each other, the temperature sore through the roof. She let her body take control, her mouth moving down from the gentle kisses on his chest to the very prize possession that she wanted. She kissed the outer layer as he pants harshly gripping the thin blanket underneath him.

Unsheathing him, Rae gently kissed the tips of his shaft before taking him completely into her mouth. His hands reached for her hair tighten his grip as she completely swallows him with the heat of her mouth. The warm that surrounded him almost had him come in just minutes but he stopped himself wanting to last longer than a couple minutes.

It was just a play, revenge to get back at Lori for getting with Shane but it was also for himself. The feelings he had were real yet he still thought of his family in this moment and it almost stopped him from taking her only of course it didn't. He truly loved her yet he also loved Lori, his wife. In a world so shitty, he wasn't sure what love was anymore. But he knew if he had to choose, he couldn't think with his heart but think of Carl, his son who needed his mother and his wife who born an unborn child that he didn't even know if it was his or his best friend, Shane's. He didn't have the privilege of choosing what he wanted in this kind of world.

"Rae." Rick moan out as he came taking a deep breath he yanked her up and over him, kissing her deeply before removing her pants that were in the way of his taking. But before he could move farther she stop him.

"Are you sure, Rick?" Rae asked one last time but he didn't answer her. He just kissed her and his silence worried for that something was wrong, that he would never do something like this when he was still married. But as she got lost in his kisses, she couldn't help but ignored that nagging feeling in the back of her mind and let herself surrender to him completely giving him everything of her, her body, her life, and her heart.

 _She left him alone in the dark staring at her retreating figure. Lori joins him later when she disappears into her tent. They sat in silence before Lori started to say something,_

" _I know that you love her." She acknowledges startling Rick who was ready to deny it. "Don't deny it. You do. You're looking at her the way you use too before we got together." And she also saw them making out from the house. She was cooking dinner for Hershel's family as a thank you with Carol and glanced out to find Rick and Rae together against a tree. She knew, it was obvious, how could she not?_

" _I was jealous." Lori confessed. "Of the way, you would look at her and I wanted you to look at me like you looked at her. But you never did, even when we got together and got married. I could never compare to what you felt for her. But I took what I could get and I guess that was enough for me."_

" _I want you to know that you can love her but you can't leave us." Lori said and Rick listened quietly knowing she meant about her and Carl. He didn't have anything to say because everything that she was saying was true. He was in love with Rae and she would never know about it even when he married Lori._

 _A part of him loved Lori but just not like he loved Rae. The only good thing that came out of their marriage was their son, Carl. The day he decided that he was going to confess his love to her, she had disappeared and he was left heart broken and Lori was left to pick up the pieces._

" _You can't." Lori stated. "You can't leave me or your son. In this world, you're all the normalcy that Carl and I have." She said not mentioning the fact that she was pregnant not even sure she wanted to keep it. She tried to tell him earlier but he wouldn't listen and now she was afraid to tell him. "You can't leave us Rick" Lori begged him before he brought her into a hug as she cried softly into his shoulder. His eyes never leaving where Rae had disappeared._

Rae gasp as she felt him fill her completely to the hilt. She fell forward as his arm wrapped around her waist turning her so he was on top. He kissed her neck softly letting their body adjust to each other. He let his lips trail down her body until they came upon her breast, he took in her nipple sucking and biting it as she wiggles beneath him in pain and pleasure.

She felt precious in his arms as he gently handled her. The way he cradles her softly in his arm as he let her body adjust to him, kissing her everywhere whispering soft and sweet words to her turning her on even more. She felt loved by him.

He could feel the way she constricted around his shaft as he bit her nipple letting him know that she liked it, a lot. Testing the water, he pulled back until only the tip was in her before surging forward filling her even deeper than before. Her legs shook as she wrapped her legs tightly around his waist urging him to move more, deeper, harder and fast.

"Rick." She gasped gripping the blankets underneath her, twisting her fingers together into a fist. It was an intimate moment as they stared into each other's eyes with Rick thrusting back and forth into her. The sweat could be seen on their face, both flustered and pleasured. Reaching between them, he used his finger to roughly and expertly stroke her clit in tandem with his thrusts. Her body arched for him, toes curling and thighs tightening.

His hips jerked uncontrollably bringing her to her peak and over the edge. Her eyes fell closed, breathless and a heat spread across her body. He thrust harder wanting to bring her to another peak pushing her orgasm on and it felt like she was being ripped apart by pleasure that it brought tears to her eyes.

His arm banded around her waist, squeezing hard and then as he quickens the pace, he whispered her name over and over against her heated skin. Their heart beating together in sync as they tried to catch their breath again. Even after they both came, he didn't remove himself from her, he just pulled her closer to him and hugged her tightly wrapping themselves in the thin blanket. And it wasn't just once, Rick woke her up multiple times throughout the night to start all over again. Giving her organism over and over until she could barely move.

The night ended like that, no words were spoken. Rae spoke with her body and her eyes, Rick seem to respond with the same but there was something in his eyes that held back and there was a flick of guilt but it disappeared as soon as it appeared. Rae seem to pass it as him feeling guilty because there isn't a divorced lawyer just laying around for them to get divorced. Being a married man sleeping with another woman, there was always guilt.

 _It was midday, almost sunset. Andrea and Shane had arrived back from checking the old neighborhood for Sophia yet no such luck. Daryl was still sitting in his tent, Dale on his RV keeping watch and Rae was by her daughter's side which Rick expected. What he didn't expect was to find morning after pills on the small table in the tent he also shared with his wife and son._

 _One of the package was already open missing pills and a cup of water, empty sat next to it. He grabs them and realizes that Lori is pregnant. Furiously that she had made the decision by herself to kill their child and disappointed in her choice. He steps out with the empty packages in hand crumbled together as he heads out to find where she went._

" _Hey, Dale. Have you seen Lori?" Rick asked trying to keep his anger under control._

" _She headed up the road. Is everything alright?" Dale asks seeing the furiously look on Rick's face. Rick shakes his head and heads over to where she might have gone._

 _As he walks over there, he calms down giving her the chance to explain to him why she had done what had and why she didn't tell him. He finds her bent down by the fence and she looks up as she sees him walking up. Lori gets up to face him, knowing that it was time she told him because she's made the decision to keep the baby._

" _Is there something you need to tell me?" He asked trying to give her the benefit of the doubt._

" _We can't leave. I'm pregnant." Lori finally confesses to him knowing that she kept something so important from him when she was mad at him for keeping a secret about Hershel._

" _Are you?" Rick ask holding up the empty pills._

" _I threw them up." Lori said knowing that she didn't have to right to be mad at him. "You can yell if you want. You can scream if you have too, but talk to me." Lori pled as he held his silence. He was angry and nothing she was saying was calming him down._

" _How long have you known?" Rick said walking up to her so they faced each other._

" _Does it matter?"_

" _Days? Weeks? And you didn't tell me?" Rick said getting the gist that she knew for a while and never told him._

" _I'm telling you now." Lori said._

" _No."" Rick shook his head. "I found these. So- So, Glenn knows, right?" His anger building up. "Instead of coming to me, you sent him to get pills!" Rick spat in her face._

" _I panicked. You tell me we have no roof and no walls..." Lori said trying to defend herself._

" _No! Do not put this on me!" Rick yelled furiously, "You tear into me for keeping secrets when you're holding onto this?" His voice raising another notch._

" _You want me to bring a baby into this? To live a short, cruel life?" Lori cried out._

" _How can you think like that?" Rick cried out wondering what happen to the woman he married who always thought about the good in the world._

" _We can't even protect the son that we already have." Lori sobs._

" _So, this is the solution?" Rick said throwing up the pills in her face. Anger and guilt filled his veins, anger at Lori for keeping this a secret and guilt for not doing his job as a husband, making her fill as if she needed to get rid of their child._

" _Rick, I threw them up." Lori repeated herself. "I screwed up. I don't know how we can do this." She felt hopeless with no home to keep her baby safe. A baby crying every 5 minute as they try and flee from walkers. She didn't know what they can do, to have a baby in this cruel world._

" _We can figure this out." Rick said calming down a little seeing the hopelessness in his wife's eyes._

" _How? Tell me how." Lori said leaning against the fence._

" _Shouldn't we try and figure it out? You threw up the pills. You want this baby. I know you do." Rick said gently caressing her into his arms._

" _Not like this." She said. "Not giving birth in a ditch. Not when it's like will hang by a thread from the second it's born. Not when every cry will put it, and Carl and everyone we care about in danger. That's not right."_

" _Not even giving it-her or him a chance isn't right either." Rick said correcting himself when he made the mistake of calling the baby 'it.' He wasn't going to be like Lori._

" _Maybe this is why, I didn't tell you." Lori said knowing that Rick would be able to sway her decision on having the baby._

" _I still…I still don't understand why." Rick stared at the woman he married. "You really think I'd make you have a baby you don't want?"_

" _No, so that if I went through with it, it would be on my conscious and not yours." Lori explains knowing her husband and how hard he would take having a baby's blood on his hand._

" _Maybe that's true, but I can't live like this anymore, Lori. We can't live like this." Rick said gesturing to them both. He didn't want to live like the world has gone to shit even though it has. He wants to live just like any normal human beings would and a baby would be a happy miracle. And maybe that's something that they needed right now._

" _Is there anything else I should know about?" Rick said holding his arms around the woman he is supposed to be caring for and love._

" _Shane and I." Lori answers making Rick freeze. He knew, of course he knew but he was wishing it wasn't true. Shane is his best friend._

" _Rick, I – "Lori started but Rick didn't let her finish._

" _I know, you thought I was dead. Yeah, the world went to shit and you thought I was dead. I know, but Sh-Shane, my best friend. It had to be him?" Rick said taking a step back from her. Lori couldn't say anything because it wasn't the only reason why. She felt something with Shane, with Rick gone it made her feel more._

" _Rick – "_

" _I just need some time." Rick said shaking his head and taking a step away from the woman who he had married. He was anger and disappointed very much in her. And his best friend, how could Shane do this to him? He gets that he was trying to protect them but to sleep with his wife._

 _He didn't eat dinner that night and sat by himself trying to think things through. And Rae showed up walking over to her tent and Rick couldn't help himself. He truly is in love with her but the motive to get him going was just trying to get back Lori for cheating. It wasn't the right decision but he couldn't help himself._

Rick laid gentle kisses on her shoulder spooning her from behind. It felt right to be here, cuddling with her in his arms yet it felt so wrong. He had a wife, who cheated yeah but that wife was also pregnant and a 12 year old son. He felt even more guiltier when Rae sleepily said the words that he wished she didn't. It made him feel even more guiltier because even as he loved her, he wouldn't be able to be with her. Not with Lori pregnant.

"I love you, Rick."

AUTHOR NOTES: That was my first ever written sex scene (kind of) so I apologize if it was bad. Can I aim for 5 more reviews?


	9. Chapter 9

Rick sat by his wife and his child which Rae understood. She didn't have to feel jealous because she knew that a part of Rick will always love Lori especially since they have a child together, Rae had no hard feelings against that.

"Hey." Lori whispered into his ear giving him a kiss along with her hand affectively brushing his head. "Where'd you go?" She knew that look on his face, he was here but his mind wasn't'. It was wandering to the guilt he felt every time he saw Rae or Lori or Carl. His wife cheated, yeah but he didn't need to stop at her level and use Rae true feelings for him like that. He wasn't that kind of person and it's a mistake he won't make again. His father taught him better.

"I'm here." He said nodding his head, letting her know with his eyes that he was there. He will be there for her and the baby even if it wouldn't be his blood. He was there. Rae saw the exchange but she didn't feel anything. That jealous feeling that she should have had didn't come through. Maybe it's because she felt like she already had a part of him. She understood his dilemma and she wouldn't hold it against him, even though she should.

"Um, guys?" Glenn said standing up to talk to the group. Rae responded with a hum letting him know he had her attention along with Dale, Shane and Rick. The other were too occupied in their task to really care about what he was going to announce. His next six words did catch everyone's attention. "The barns full of walkers."

Rae immediately drop her plate down and grabbed her leather garter belt chasing after Shane who took the lead to investigate if there were actual walkers in the barn. Shane had gotten close enough that they could hear the loud snarls as he peaked through the wood to confirm. As he backed away, that was all the confirmation they needed to know that there were walkers in the barn, no doubt about it.

"You _cannot_ tell me you're okay with this." Shane growled stomping back to Rick and the others.

"No, I'm not." Rick answered, "But we're guests here, this isn't our land." He reminded Shane and the rest of the group.

"Oh, god! This is our lives, man!" Shane argued truly worried not for the group but for Lori and Carl, only them.

"Shut up! They can hear you." Rae snarled at him for being so loud to a group of walkers who were ready to break down the damn wood any time now.

"We can't just sweep this under the rug!" Andrea argued along with Shane. Ending with a softer voice when Rae glared at her for raising her voice too loud.

"It ain't right. Not remotely." Shane said calming down a little. "We either go in there, make things right or we've just got to go." He said trying to understand Rick's decision. "Now we have been talking about Fort Benning for a long time."

"We can't go." Rick said interrupting Shane when he brought up the idea knowing that they needed Hershel with Lori pregnant but he wasn't going to reveal that Lori was pregnant. Not with Rae or Shane here. Lori's condition, they need Hershel or Lori could die.

"Why, Rick? Why?" Rick had no way of telling him or giving him a reason.

"Because my daughter is still out there." Carol said saving him from having to make up an excuse. With Lori, pregnant and everything with Rae, Sophia was the last thing on his mind. He had forgot about her, only remembering now.

"Okay." Shane said calming, scoffing a little with his hands rubbing against his chin. "Okay, I think it's time that we all start to just consider the other possibility." He sighed

"Shane, we're not leaving Sophia behind." Rick warned him knowing how he felt about that situation.

"I'm close to finding this girl. I just found her damn doll a few days ago!" Daryl said stepping in.

"You found a doll, Daryl. That's what you did. You found a doll!"

"You don't know what the hell you're talking about." Daryl said taking a step closer to him not liking where the situation was going ready to start a fight if that's what he had to do to keep the search on.

"I'm just saying what needs to be said. You get a good lead, it's in the first 48 hours." Shane said ignoring Rick who was trying to get him to stop. They were drawing too much attention to themselves and right in front of the barn full of walkers. That wasn't good. "Let me tell you something else, man. If she was alive out there and saw you coming all methed out with your buck knife and geek ears around your neck, she would run in the other direction."

"Shut your mouth!" Daryl said ready to start a fight. Everything Shane was saying was getting to him. Rae pulled her fist back and swung it straight at Shane's jaw knocking him on his ass. Rick and the others were trying to separate Daryl, Shane and Rae.

"Rae, stop." Rick pulled her back but everything Shane said was shit. "You best watch yourself Shane." Rae said threatening him before letting Rick pull her away from the group making her stand next to Daryl.

Dale lets everyone know that he talked with Hershel and that man sees those things in the barn as people, sick people. He didn't know what the hell he was doing. The door rattles even more and the wood look like they were going to come off. The walkers were growling more and banging against the wooden doors making the chain rattle. It didn't look safe, it was never safe. The door wasn't going to hold, forever.

"We can't leave it like that." Andrea said fearing entering her eyes a little. The other agreed with her. Everyone agreed that someone would keep watch and Rick was going to talk to Hershel about it. Shane circled that barn probably a hundred times, searching and testing every single little bit of wood. He still seemed unsatisfied even with the barn seeming secure enough to keep them safe for now.

Everyone went their own way trying to take their mind off the dozens of walkers in the barn just 100 feet away from them, from where they slept the past few days. With the new information found out, all Rae wanted was for her daughter to wake up so she could rest and be strong before the walkers broke out of the barn and killed them all. Rae spent the rest of the morning doing nothing but sitting by her daughter's side.

After learning what was in the barn, she worried for her daughter, feared for her. She was unable to defend herself from walkers, she was powerless, fragile and at any moment that chain can break and become a threat. No idea how many walkers they had in there but it could be dozens and that could be all their downfall. She needed her daughter to wake up.

"Come on, baby. I know you're strong. You're my daughter, wake up please." Rae begged holding onto her baby's hand with her head down as if she was praying and maybe she was. She could do anything to help he baby even pray and believe in a belief that she didn't believe in.

"Mom?" A raspy voice answered her prayers. A cried of joy left Rae's lips as she found her daughter staring back at her. "Where are we?"

"Hold on." Rae said pouring a cup of water with a straw stuck in it. "Drink." Rae ordered, tears at her eyes. She was crying tears of joy. Her daughter was finally awake.

"Did we find Sophia?" Alex asked after taking gulps of water. Her voice was back to normal.

Rae shook her head silently, "But Daryl found her doll. He's getting close to finding her, so you just rest and get better alright?" Rae said stroking her hair softly with a soft smile. "I'll be right back."

Rae rushed out of the room onto the front porch where everyone was sitting. She couldn't find Hershel in the house so she looked for Maggie who sat next to Glenn on the steps. "Y'all! Alex woke up!" She yelled as soon as she approached the front door. "Where's Hershel? I need him to check on her." Rae said exiting the door excitingly only to find Shane passing out weapons to everyone.

"What's going on?" Rae asked, her excitement dying down as she saw the seriousness on some of their faces.

"You take it Carl and you keep your mother safe. You do whatever it takes." Shane said ignoring the news of excitement from Rae knowing she wouldn't agree with his choices.

And she didn't. Rae stepped up and pushed Carl back, "This is not your call to make. This is not your decision. You are not his father no matter how many times you try to be. You're never going to be his father, Shane. So, take a step back, buddy." Rae said pushing against his chest as Lori came to Carl's side pulling him back away from the two.

"Oh sh*t." T-Dog said grabbing everyone's attention but Rae didn't take her eyes off Shane.

"What is that?" Shane said taking his eyes of Rae and walking away from a fight he wasn't going to win even if he didn't know it. The sounds of walkers growling caught all their attention.

"Hey, Carl. Why don't you go keep Alex company? She just woke up, I'm sure she's missing you." Rae said softly to Carl not giving him room to argue with her as she pushed him into the house before running after the others who came found Rick and Hershel with walkers. Shane had shot them and he was going for the barn, breaking the chain.

Rae couldn't let that happen, she needed Hershel, now more than ever. Alex was awake, he needed to check her vitals and make sure she was okay along with the wound that was healing. He was the best thing that Rae had. She needed him.

"Stop! Alex is awake! I need Hershel. You can't do this Shane." Rae yelled out to try and stop them but Shane had already open the gate to hell and there was no going back. Walkers came out one after the other and the group had started to shoot, each other in the head killing them instantly.

Shane, Andrea, Daryl, T-Dog, and even Glenn killed them all. Rae watched as Hershel fell to the ground horrified at what had just happen. Seeing his son and wife fall to the ground, dead right before his eyes.

After what look like the last walker had die Rae rushed up to Shane to punch him but the shuffling of steps from inside the barn stopped her. Realization hit them hard, it was Sophia, in the same form they had saw her before she disappeared. Her shoes intact and her blue rainbow t-shirt but her pale skin and the craze look in her eyes and face expression in a snarl establish horror in each and everyone's face.

Carol cried out her name but was held back by Daryl who she cried into. No one moved, not even Shane who moments ago was in s furious rage over the groups inaction. Everyone was taken back in stunned silence.

Rick, the group's leader ultimately steps up right next to Rae and draws his gun forward pointing straight at Sophia's head. His arm shook unable to pull the trigger, even though he had the resolve too, it was too much.

"It's okay." Rae whispered taking the gun from him and without hesitation pulled the trigger killing her instantly.

Carol had instantly walked away after Rae pulled the trigger. The others turned to watch her but she didn't. She stared at Sophia's body, no one else moved. Beth had come out and sobbed over her mother and brother who both laid on the ground dead.

"Ma." She cried as she ran over to pull her body to her. Beth lets out a scream when her mother pull at her hair. Everyone runs over to help her, Shane pulls at her body with Rick helping. Glenn grabs the hand away from her as she gets pull back into the arms of her father. Andrea drives a scythe through her head.

"I want you out of my farm, off my land." Hershel said as he caresses Beth in his arms. "Today, now that Alex is awake. You have no reason to stay. You can thank your friend Shane there."

"Hershel – " Rae started but he doesn't listen and walks away toward the house. Rae turns to find Shane ignoring the hands that held her back. "Don't fucking touch me!" Rae glares at each single one who helped Shane killed them all.

"You couldn't wait one more day? My daughter is finally awake and your dumbass just ruined everything! Each single one of you helped him with his stupid plan too! You could have stopped him but no, you just couldn't sit still!" Rae gripped the gun in her hand even harder so tempted to just raise it and shoot at someone.

"My daughter has finally woken up after everything! You couldn't wait one more fucking day for me? Yeah, I get it, it's your life but we have handled walkers before. We know what we're doing, one more day wouldn't have killed us and you know it! The barn was secured until your dumbass broke the damn chain!" Rae glared at Shane, Rick took the gun before she could raise it and shoot him which was good otherwise he would be a dead man.

"I don't keep count but I have saved your asses more than once! And I would do it again because that's what we do. You couldn't think of what Hershel would have done if you did this? I thought about each one of you to protect and you couldn't once in your life think about my daughter who's still laying in a bed because she was shot and almost died? What kind of fucking group are we?" Rae spat disappointed in everyone.

She headed up to the house wanting to be near her daughter. She didn't even glance at Daryl, someone who she had considered her brother, she thought he would at least have thought about what would happen if he went along with the plan and what would happen to Alex, but he didn't. No one did and now she could care less about them anymore.

"Hey, baby girl. How you are feeling?" Rae asked as she walked in the room after helping them clean the bodies ignoring the apologizes they all attempted to make. She didn't even stay for Sophia's burial. She couldn't not after putting a bullet to the young girl's head, she didn't want to think about putting down more people than she had too. She even ignored Daryl who they thought she would be more willing to talk too.

"I'm fine, mom. How are you feeling?" Alex asked seeing the gun fire battle that went down.

"Honey, I'm not the one you should be worried about."

"I saw what you did. I know mom. I know about Pa and Ma. And I know how hard it's been on you, mom. I'm here. I will always here. I'm not going anywhere."

"I wouldn't let you go anywhere, anyways." Rae joked holding her daughter's hand. "I need you to get better. Hershel's wants us off his land. But you're still healing. I don't know what to do."

"I'm your daughter, mom. I'm strong, just like you."

"Sometimes, I wished you didn't have to be strong like me. I want you to be a child, so I can spoil you and love you. I didn't want this kind of world for you. I'm sorry that you couldn't have a normal childhood." Rae apologized.

"Mom." Alex stopped her from speaking. Her voice weak and facial color was getting pale. "It's life."

Rae chuckles softly, "Come on, get some rest. You need it."

Rae watched her daughter sleep, not leaving the room. She didn't want to face any of them. She didn't want to see them, it might make her do something she might regret. Carol and Carl would probably be the only people she would be able to see and be okay with it.

It was night time when Carol shook her awake. She probably laid down her head to rest and fell asleep.

"Dinner's ready, Rae." Carol said softly before walking out. Rae quickly checked to see that Alex was stable before walking out while combing her hair with her fingers and pulling it up into a better pony tail.

She walks into the diner room to get some food for herself before heading back up to sit with her daughter but she dropped her plate hearing that Lori had gone missing.

"Spread out, she's got to be somewhere around here." Rae said immediately leaving the house and checking outside as everyone followed her and started to search for her. She does find someone else. Daryl sits out by the wood burning some wood starting a fire, probably to keep himself warm.

"What are you doing?" Daryl asked and Rae just wanted to leave but she knew that it would be better to have a tracker to help find the missing woman.

"We can't find Lori." She said standing a few feet away from him with her arms crossed her chest.

"That dumb bitch must've gone off looking for 'em." Daryl said making Rae chuckle at his use of language. "She asked me to go but I'm done being an errand boy for everyone else."

Rae had nothing to say. She knew that Daryl had hope even if he didn't know himself. But after finding out that Sophia was in that barn must have hit him hard. He almost died for her and she was in the barn the entire time.

"You should go see Alex. She woke up but she's resting. Come see her when she wakes Daryl, I'm sure she'll want to see her favorite uncle." Rae walked away not looking back but she could feel his eyes on here as she walked away. She found the rest of the group gather together in the middle of camp where they rest.

"She's not at the barn." Shane said walking up.

"I checked the yards. She's not there either." T-Dog joined the group as they started to panic more before she walked up.

"She asked Daryl to go into town." Rae said letting everyone know and her next words had Carl whimpering thinking he had lost both of his parents in one night.

"Hey, come on buddy." She comforts him walking by his side to the house as he sheds his tears silently. A car starts and they turn to find Shane pulling out and onto the road. "Your father will be back and Shane will come back with your mother. Don't worry so much, let's get you some dinner."

The others follow in to the diner room and having dinner together. Rae helps Patricia bring out the dishes as everyone helps themselves. Daryl had come to visit Alex but Rae made him sit at the table along with everyone else. It was a quiet dinner because even as she told him his parents would come back alive, there was no way she could guarantee it, it was only false hope.

They haven't even finished dinner and Shane or Rick was back. Everyone ran outside, it was Shane along with Lori. Carl let out a sigh of relief when his mother stepped out.

"Oh, my god, are you all right? What happened?" Rae asked as she got a closer to look at the woman. Her head was injury, there was dry blood on it indicating that it had happened a while ago.

"I was in an accident. I'm fine." Lori said shaking her arm off when Shane grabbed her. She just wanted to see Rick. She needed to know he was okay.

"She was attacked." Shane said trying to help but she didn't want his help.

"Where's Rick?" Lori asked and Rae could only stare at her in confusion.

"They're not back yet."

"They're not back?" Lori said in disbelief looking around seeing no Rick. Fury filled her veins at Shane lying to her once more. "Where are they?"

"Look, I had to get you back here."

"You asshole." Lori said walking up to him pushing him like they were a fighting couple. "He's my husband."

"Lori, I will go after him. I will find him. Hey!" Shane pushed Lori away from him but gently. She stumbled a few steps before Rae caught her in her arms.

"Now first things first, I gotta—I gotta look after you. I gotta make sure the baby's all right, okay?" Shane said trying to reason with her bringing up her pregnancy that Lori had no idea he knew.

"You're having a baby?" Carl asked as Rae's arms around her falter and she noticed. "Why didn't you tell me?" Lori was speechless, she didn't know how to respond.

"Let's get you fixed up first." Rae said as they brought her to the house to see if everything was alright. Dale and Andrea follow her to the house wanting to make sure she was okay. As she helps clean the wound and bandage her up, Rae didn't say anything.

"Hey, I am so sorry that I left without telling you." Lori said to Carl who sat by her side.

"It's okay, I wasn't scared. Rae was with me. I knew that if anything happened to you or dad, she would take care of me." Carl said nodding his head and giving Rae a smile which she returns slightly. "When's dad getting back?"

"Let's hope soon."

"I wanna be there when you tell him about the baby." His forwardness had some chuckles going around the room.

"Oh, love, he already knows." Lori smiled brightly at him brushing his hair to the side softly with affection.

Finding out Lori was pregnant made the guilt become ever bigger and brought up questions that she didn't know if she wanted answered or not. Dale and Andrea went to heat up some food for her to eat because she needed more now that she was pregnant. Shane walked into the room wanting to speak to her,

"How about a little later, after she's had some rest?" Rae said seeing the look on Lori's face that she didn't want to see him or talk to him at all.

"Lori, I had to get you back here. You wouldn't have come otherwise." He said trying to explain himself to get her to talk to him. "How about you – um, here me out please."

"Will you give me a minute?" Lori asked Carl and that was the que for everyone to leave the room. Rae followed but she didn't leave the house, she stayed out on the porch wanting to ask Lori one question before she went to bed. She had to know, it has only been one day so if Rick already knew then it had to be this morning otherwise what had happened between them was a mistake. She never would have done anything like that if she knew.

Lori exited the house a couple minutes later, angry but stopped when she found Rae by the door waiting for her. "Hey." Rae said staring at her feet.

"Hey." Lori said in a quiet voice, knowing what she wanted to ask her.

"I just – I just have one question."

"Rick knew when he slept with you." Lori answered for her before she could ask her question. "I told him about Shane that day. He was mad. Angry. Disappointed, any words you want to use to describe it."

"So…He knew." The agony could be heard in her voice as she chocked back her tears.

"I'm sorry, Rae." Lori said before stepping down the stairs towards her tent.

There are no words that Rae could think of what happened. Just when everything was going the way she wanted it too. The man she loves, she could finally be with only to find that it was fake. Her heart ache, there was no other pain that could replace what she was feeling. It was like she had no room to breathe, no air.

She fell to the ground unable to support herself, the tears running free. She had only thought it was true but the truth was that in this world, there was no way for Rick to be with her. It wasn't possible. You could say that right at that moment, she died.

AN: Okay, let's aim for 3 more reviews.


	10. Chapter 10

Rick returned safely with Hershel and brought back another body with them. Rae only watched from the porch with her daughter who was getting back and able to get on her feet now. Rae had a colder expression to her. Her heart was breaking inside as she watches Lori and Carl run up to Rick who arrived safely. Alex watch the man she will never be able to call father nor run up to him the way Carl had. They stood back with only each other,

"Mom, I'm tired." Alex said wanting to get away from the happy reunion scene in front of her. "Let's get you inside, shall we?" Rae said ignoring the obvious stare from Rick as he watches the mother and daughter walk back into the house obviously feeling down.

Rae left her daughter alone in the room she was in knowing that she was upset about Rick. Rae joined the group downstairs as they talked about their hostage.

"We couldn't just leave him behind. He would've bled out. If he'd lived that long." Rick said as Rae step into the room standing next to Maggie without looking up. She kept her eyes staring at the white cloth of the table. She could feel his gaze on her but she didn't want him to see the hurt in her eyes every time she'd look at him or Lori or Carl. She wanted time to think things through and with Lori being pregnant, the process wasn't speeding up any time soon.

"It's gotten bad in town." Glenn said explaining what Rick had meant. His gaze lingers on Maggie before he turned away.

"What do we do with him?" Andrea asked still not seeing the possible result.

"I repaired his calf muscle as best I can, but he'll probably have nerve damage. Won't be on his feet for at least a week." Hershel said walking in wiping his hands clean.

"When he is, we give him a canteen, take him out to the main road, send him on his way." Rick said coming up with a solution that he prays will keep their location safe from the others in his group.

"Isn't that the same as leaving him for the walkers?" Daryl walks into the house quietly as he could without disturbing the conversation and nods at Carol.

"He'll have a fighting chance." Rick said defending his option. Rae had stayed quiet, she didn't have any more energy to be looking for solutions for every problem they had anymore. She had her own shit to figure out now.

"Just gonna let him go? He knows where we are." Shane said already seeing the clear solution in his mind about what should be done. One that he knew, Rick was afraid to make.

"He was blindfolded the whole way here. He's not a threat." Rick said defending himself once again from Shane. He was tired of having to fight his best friend on every decision he made for the group.

"Not a threat." Shane lets out a dry chuckle. "How many of them were there? You killed three of their men, you took one of them hostage but they just ain't gonna come looking for him?"

"They left him for dead. No one is looking." Rick yelled rising his voice.

"We should still post a guard." Rae said finally voicing her opinion. She didn't care what, she just needed to be sure that her daughter will get the recovery she needed.

"Rae, he's not a threat." Rick said and begged her with his eyes to believe him but she didn't even look him in the eyes.

"I don't care if he's a threat or not. I just want my daughter to recover safely until she's able to run on her own two feet. Nothing, and I mean nothing is going to take that away, even if I have to put a bullet through that man's head." She replied coldly surprising everyone at the table at her sudden tone.

Rick stared at her sudden respond about killing an innocent man. He'd get that she wanted her daughter to recover safely, hell he wanted the same but killing an innocent man wasn't the type of person he knew her as. Something had changed her and he wanted to find out why, if only she would look him in the eye. She seemed to do fine with everyone else but him and his family.

"He's out cold right now, will be for hours." Hershel explains seeing no need for a guard and no need for any bullets to be flying around killing an innocent man.

"I'm gonna go get him some flowers and candy." Shane said heading towards the door unsatisfied with the decision the group have come up with. "Look at this, folks, we back in fantasyland." He scoffed shaking his head.

"You know, we haven't even dealt with what you did at my barn yet." Hershel's words stopped him before the door. "Let me make this perfectly clear, once and for all; this is my farm. Now I wanted you gone. Rick talked me out of it, but that doesn't mean I have to like it. So, do us both a favor, keep your mouth shut." Shane walked out slamming the door, he wasn't happy but he'd have to live with it until otherwise.

"Look, we're not gonna do anything about it today. Let's just cool off." Rae wasn't happy with his choice and her eyes meet T-Dog's whose eyes responded to hers. He was going to be keeping guard just because he didn't want to be taking any chances with their lives on the line.

The group scatter, anyone who wasn't need in the house scatter outside. Maggie stopped Glenn to speak and Rick grabbed Rae's arm before she could disappear into the room Alex was in. "Can I talk to you?" Rae could see Lori linger in the doorway waiting for him, "Lori pregnant, there isn't anything we need to talk about." She shook her head finally meeting his gaze. Her eyes held the pain in her heart but not nearly half of it. Her voice was weak and hurt could be heard in it.

Rick didn't know how to respond and stood there in silence like he was caught cheating and maybe he was. She waited as if she knew he had a reason for not telling her and when none came, she could only laugh weakly. "Congratulations, Rick. You're having a baby." She pushed pass him and moved into the room her daughter slept.

The week went by in a blink of an eye. Rae had pulled away from everyone. She didn't talk to the others unless she needed too, the only person she would talk too would be her daughter and sometimes Daryl. Everyone in the group could tell that she was pulling away and no matter what they did, there was no way to pull her back in. There was nothing they could do, it was a road that she chose for herself and she must face it alone. Rick had given her space and time to talk before he thought about approaching her but every time he tried she would turn the other way to avoid confronting him. It frustrated him every time she did that. He wanted to let her know that it wasn't what she thought, that he truly loved her. He didn't want to use her but that's exactly what he did.

Rick and Shane had headed out to drop the kid Randell but came back with him. He knew Maggie and they weren't left with many options left. Alex and Rae watch as they put him back in the small shed nodding at them to head to the camp for a meeting.

Everyone was gathered around the small camp fire. Rick stood waiting for Daryl to come back from his interrogation. "So, what are you gonna do?" Lori asked pouring a cup of water for her son and one for herself.

"We'd all feel better if we knew the plan." Carol said seeing that Rick wasn't going to be speaking any time soon.

"Is there a plan?" Andrea said stepping forward, "We gonna keep him here?"

"We'll know soon enough." Rick said, his hands rested on the back of his gun as Daryl walks out of the shed heading their way with a bloody knuckle.

"Boy there's got a gang, 30 men. They got heavy artillery and they ain't looking to make friends. They roll through here; our boys are dead. Our women – they'd wish they were." Daryl said relaying the information he'd gotten from the boy.

"What did you do?" Carol asked obvious to his bloody knuckles. "Had a little chat." He replied moving over to the side closer to the group.

"No one goes near this guy." Rick declared, "What are you gonna do?" Rae asked seeing no other alternatives then taking the kids life but she was wishing that it didn't come down to that.

"We have no choice. He's a threat." Rick said quietly his final choice agreeing with what Shane offered at first when they brought him back. "We have to eliminate the threat."

Dale stepped up ready to fight for a young man's life. "You're just gonna kill him?"

"It's settled. I'll do it today." Rick said heading over with Dale on his tail. "Mom." Alex shook her mom and she knew what her choice was. "I know, honey. I know. Stay here." Rae said making sure she stayed seated before jogging over to Rick and Dale who were intensely in a conversation.

"We can't call a witness, go before a judge." Rick said as Rae stepped closer to their conversation.

"So, he's automatically guilty by association and sentenced to death?"

"He's just a kid, Rick. He doesn't deserve this." Rae said stepping beside Dale agreeing with his opinion.

"You were all for it a week ago." Rick said frustrated that she was only speaking to him now regarding the topic.

"That was a week ago, when my daughter was still bedridden. Now she's fine, she can run on her own two feet again. I have nothing else to worry about. There is no need to take anyone's life." Rae argued back defending her reasoning for what she said last week.

"And what do you suggest we do?" Rick asked looking at them both. None of them had an answer for him.

"We can take him in. He can become part of us. We took you in, we can help him too. He's just a kid." Rae said coming up with a solution that didn't sound that good but it was something. She had to fight for this, for her daughter and for herself. She needed to find a sense of humanity left in her to hold on for. She knew that for her daughter she could do anything and it wasn't bad that she could it was just the things she could do for her daughter survival. It scared her because she didn't know that, that part of her was alive.

"The groups already made their decision." Rick said after considering her eyes, a pair of eyes that he's missed over the short period of not being able to talk to her or see his reflection in her eyes. They said everything he needed to know about her.

"That's because you didn't give them time to think about it, to process it."

"We can't drag it out any longer." Rick shook his head knowing that he didn't want to make that shoot but he'd have to for the sake of his son and unborn child whether it was his or not.

"Think-think about Carl! About Alex! She doesn't want you to kill the man. What kind of message are you sending them? Shoot first, think later?" Rae wouldn't back down and Rick was hoping that they would be able to convince him otherwise because he didn't want to take an innocent man's life. Not knowing whether he was innocent or not was not his decision but he still held those rules nearby.

"I'm trying to teach my – our daughter about humanity. I can't just let you kill a man- a child in cold blood because he may possibly be a threat to us. That's not who you are. Don't become that person." Rae said resting her hand on his beating heart hoping that she'll get through to him.

"Don't let the end of the world affect who you become. Don't be like Shane, look at him. Do you see the same man you were partnered with anymore? You know the answer to that, don't become like him. You are better, you can be better." The palm of her hand resting on his chest brought warmth but it angers him also. The fact that it took her a whole week to speak to him and not about them but about someone else.

"We can't be sure that he's not a threat to us. We have to do this." Rick said finally gathering his thoughts. He couldn't think about her, he had to see the whole group on it. They put their lives on his hand, he couldn't risk it for the sake of his daughter, his son or her. He had to do it, there was no way around it. Lori was pregnant and he couldn't risk any threat with her medical history. The conflict could be seen clearly in his eyes but they disappeared and his eyes harden. He made his choice, it didn't matter if he liked it or not it was the best choice for everyone.

"No, we don't." Rae argued pushing her palm closer to his heart. They were so close together yet so far, he could reach his arm out and feel her but it felt like she was going to disappeared if he did. As long as she was still in his view he didn't care that they weren't together. As long as she was around, he could do this because he knew that at the end of the day, she would stand by his side no matter what kind of choice he made. He could be a leader because of her and if she ever disappeared from his world, it may come crumbling down.

"Give- Give me a day to talk to everybody." Dale said stepping in seeing the resolve in Rick's eye. He didn't want to turn into the type of person to take an innocent man's life. He still wanted to cling onto the little hope of humanity left in the world. He didn't want to become one of those people like who Shane was turning into. Shane wasn't that type of person at the start but then everything changed and he changed. Dale didn't want to become someone who can take someone's life without a second thought.

"We reconvene at sunset, then what happens, happens." Rick said knowing that he didn't want to kill Randall but if he had too, he would.

Dale nod his head and hurries to head out trying to convince the group because he knew he already had Rae's vote. He left Rae and Rick alone together. It became awkward quickly, Rae wanted to leave but the look in Rick's eye made her stay. She wanted to run and hide from those blue eyes like a coward she was but she couldn't endure more pain from him if that was all he was giving her.

"Mom!" Alex yelled interrupting them before any words could be exchange. Rae silently cursed her daughter but she also felt relieved that Alex interrupted them. Rae pass slowly by Rick stopping beside him with a final glance at him. He didn't turn to look at her, he couldn't. He let her walk away from him again.

"Come on." Rae said wrapping her arm around her daughter's shoulders. "We have until sunset to convince everyone. Dale's gonna be talking to everyone." Rae explains knowing the look on her daughter that she wanted to know the results of what was going to happen.

"It shouldn't be a question if we need to kill him or not. We're not murders." Alex stated as she was confused with the decision.

"I know, honey. I know. It's – it's just a hard time for everyone, okay?" Alex crossed her arms blaming one person. She glared at her so-called father before walking after her mother. "Come on, let's get some more training in you. Build up those muscles you lost from sleeping too much." Rae teased her but it was the truth. Alex has lost some pounds from that long coma, she needed to eat as much as she could and work out. She wasn't at 100% but she was strong enough to defend herself against one walker.

For the rest of the day Rae watch and trained with her daughter. As the sunset came closer, Rae came to dread what would come next. Watching Dale try to convince everyone wasn't working, she could see that he at most only convince maybe one or two but that was it. It wasn't going to be enough to spare Randall's life. Rae could see the result already and it wasn't pretty.

Rae sent Alex inside the house to help the others for dinner. "It's almost time." Rae said quietly as she stood next to him.

"Not avoiding me anymore." Rick said ignoring her first words.

"I wasn – " Rae started but stop seeing the look Rick gave her. He knew she was going to lie and she herself knew it too. "I just needed sometime to myself." She said with a dry chuckle.

"A whole week? You're pulling away from the group, any reason why?" Rick said meeting her dry chuckle with one of his own.

"I'm not pulling away- I'm just…" Rae said trying to find the reason why but there wasn't one. She needed time alone, time to think and it just so happens that she's pulling away from the group because of that. There's no reasonable explanations as to why, it just was the way it was. "Look, I'm not here to talk about us if there was an 'us.' I'm here because I can already see the results and I know it's not easy for you."

She ignored the way Rick turned to face her. She set her eyes on the beautiful orange sunset with a red sky. It was a beautiful sight yet what came next made it very ugly to look at. "I told you're not that kind of man. You don't have to kill someone to prove that you have guts. Despite everything you put me through, I still believe in you. You don't have to do this." Rae said her hand gripping his that rested on the old white paint.

"I do. I brought him here. Maybe I shouldn't have, but I did. I have to do whatever it is to keep these people safe. I'm ready." Rick said gripping her hand tighter as he spoke.

"No one is ever ready to take an innocent man's life, Rick." Rae said letting out a humor laugh.

"It has to be me." Rick started ignoring the shake of her head. "I let you take care of Sophia when I couldn't. I can do this. They look to me, I have to do this."

"What do you have to prove? You're our leader. That's the end of it. No questions asked."

"I have to do this." Rick said like he was telling himself and her repeatedly that he was getting tired of it. "You once said, that through everything you'd be by my side through everything and support me."

"I do." She said without a second's hesitation. He could believe in her and depend on her because she was there to be by his side and support him no matter how stupid her love for him is.

"But you didn't say you think I'm making the right call."

"Because you're not." Rae said with a smile.

"This is the right call." He said after a pregnant silence. "Let's gather up."

"We don't have to become killers to survive the world Rick. Trust me, I'd know." Rae said leaving those words echoing through his mind. The way she wanted to see the world was changing, she just didn't know how bad it was becoming. It was going to be a challenge for her when she meets with everything she thought this world wasn't going to be.

Rae didn't join the group until later in the conversation. She already knew she was on the losing team no matter how much Dale fought for a human's life, he was going to lose. No one else wanted to speak their thoughts, they wanted to live so they couldn't risk any more threats. The wind wasn't blowing in their favor, Randall is going to die one way or another.

Carol spoke out but not for her decision, she didn't want to carry the guilt of an innocent man's life on her hands. That was what she was afraid of and she didn't want any part of what they were going to do. But in all truth, every single person in the room was a part of the decision made whether they kept their silence or not. Not speaking out was killing Randall and the team that spoke out was on the losing side. There was no way of winning.

"If we do this, the people we were, the world that we knew, is dead. And this new world, it's ugly, harsh, it's a 'survival of the fittest! That's a world I don't wanna live in and I don't- I don't believe that any of you do!" Dale pleaded with the group. "Let's just do what's right!" His hat in hand gripped tighter when no one responded. "Isn't there anybody else that's gonna stand with me?" No one could stare at the man, they knew that they were going to have to carry the guilt forever because they knew he was right.

"He's right," Andrea spoke up. "We should try to find another way."

"Anybody else?" No one spoke up but Rick could see that Rae wasn't even paying attention. "Rae?" He asked grabbing her attention.

"You know where I stand. I haven't changed my mind but you're gonna kill him anyways." She said grabbing everyone's attention. "No matter what we say, the decision has been made. Everyone's too scared to speak up and you're going to be left to carry all the weight Rick. They're gonna hide in their tents and pretend that an execution isn't happening 20 feet away from where they sleep. They're gonna push it to the back of their mind and you'll be left to carry it all."

No one could meet her gaze as she looked around the room. Only Rick's eye stayed true to her but even then, the guilt in his eyes could be seen. Dale shook his head and walked out but not before stopping by Daryl to tell him that the group is broken.

"I thought you were a better person than that, dad." Alex said coming into the room spatting at the word 'dad' she couldn't believe her ears and the decision of the group. The pain double in his eye making him grip the back of the couch even tighter.

When the sun had fully set, everyone sat by the fire together as Rick, Shane and Daryl retrieved Randall from his shed and walked over to the barn that once held walkers. Alex held her hand tighter knowing that a single gunshot was going to be echoing through the night. Alex leaned into Rae's chest holding her tightly not wanting to hear anything. She didn't want any memories to return, she knew that if they did. She would break, knowing that they were taking an innocent man's life like she once had.

"We're keeping him in custody for now." Rick said as the group waited for an answer from him since they didn't hear a gun shot. Rae let out a sigh of relief and whispered the good news to her daughter's ears. Alex sat up and walked over to where Rick and Lori were having a conversation. She surprised Rae and Rick herself, when Alex hugged him. Rick couldn't look much happier finally being able to hug his daughter.

"I'm gonna find Dale." Andrea announced getting up happily. She was practically bouncing on her toes bringing a smile to Rae's face.

A few tears escaped Rick as he bent down slightly to bring Alex closer to him. The scene before her was beautiful, Rae couldn't be happier. A scream tore that happiness away from them. In just under a second, Alex and Carl were pushed onto Lori to take care of before she ran after the group. She found them huddle up together in the middle of the field. There laid Dale with his intestines hanging out of his body and a dead walker to the side. Rick yelled for Hershel and when he did arrive he tells the group that it was too late. Dale couldn't be saved and that only brought more guilt to the group. All who stood against him even when they knew that his words were the truth and what they should have done instead of being cowards and taking the easy way out.

"He's suffering. Do something!" Andrea cried seeing the only man left in the world who treated her with love and care. He was the only one who cared and loved her when her sister died. He stood by her like a father and loved her like a daughter. She was losing someone once again to the stupid walkers. The pain was too great and it was breaking her piece by piece.

Rick held the gun to his head but looking into his eyes, he couldn't take it and he couldn't pull the gun like he couldn't earlier in the barn on that kid. His hands shook and he lowered the gun letting Daryl take it from him.

"Goodbye, brother." He said his finally words before pulling the trigger killing him instantly.

AU: I changed the title to Toxic Love because as I write this story I realized that the connection they share is toxic. It matches the story perfectly. Lol. Thanks for reading! 3 more reviews please!


	11. Chapter 11

"Dale could get under your skin. He sure got under mine. Because he wasn't afraid to say exactly what he thought…how he felt. That kind of honesty is rare and brave." Rick said standing beside the recently dug grave. Small rocks surrounding the new dirt of his dead body, everyone surrounding the grave with sadness and guilt. He died thinking that they didn't do the right thing that he wanted, to show their humanity still existed in this kind of world. He didn't get to know the truth before he was gone.

"Whenever I'd make a decision, I'd look to Dale. He'd be looking back at me with that look he had. We've all seen it, one time or another. I couldn't always read him, but he could read us. He saw people for who they were. He knew things about us- the truth…who we really are." He said looking at every single one of them in the eyes knowing that what he spoke was the truth. Dale knew them for better or worse.

"In the end, he was talking about losing our humanity. He said this group is broken. The best way to honor him is to un-break it. Set aside our differences and pull together, stop feeling sorry for ourselves and take control of our lives. Our safety, our future, we're not broken. We're gonna prove him wrong. From now on, we're gonna do it his way, that is how we honor Dale."

They stood in silence for a minute before Shane started to move. Andrea, T-Dog and Daryl weren't far behind him weapons in hand, no one had to guess where they were going. It was where Rae wanted to be also but knowing that if she went Alex would follow and she didn't want that. They were like Andrea who hated walkers when she lost her sister. It was their way of coping, the only way. When they return with blood splatter on them, no one questioned them. It was a better way of coping then lashing out and pulling away from the group. They needed to do it, after all the losses they suffered, they needed it.

Hershel had invited them to join them in the house for the cold winter that's coming up soon. Rick didn't argue and only help moved things along smoothly with the rest of the group. He knew it would be tight with sixteen people already thinking of any other option in case it became a problem but Hershel told him not to worry about it. Even Maggie pointed out that with the fifty head of cattle's they had on the property, they were pretty much ringing the doorbell. She was right.

Everyone focused on moving their things and helping others move their things into the house. The only one who hasn't move their things would be Shane. His tent was still up because Hershel still didn't want Shane on the farm and don't even think about in the house with his family. There was no way he would allow Shane to move into the house even if Rick was vouching for him. There was only so much he could deal with when it came to Shane, Rick knew not to push it.

"Andrea! Andrea!" Rick called with Hershel at his side as the rest of the group move towards the house with their belongings. "When I'm out with Daryl, help Hershel keep an eye on things around here."

"Me?" Andrea said wondering why she was chosen when usually it was Rae. Rae could be trusted, she was a bad bitch and she could handle everyone on the land as far as she knew. Hell, she could put Shane in his place if he crossed the line. Everyone seen the way Rick looks at Rae, they knew the truth but that wasn't their business to butt into. It was their problem to figure out.

"Shane's got a way of letting things get out of hand, especially when he's all torqued up." Rick said trying to explain himself and not reveal his true motive of what he wanted her to do.

"I think we're all a bit torqued up at this point." She retorted not seeing his point or the reason why he chose her instead of their other co-leader who they would look to if he wasn't around. Shane tried but he wasn't cut out for it though he knew the bad things that they had to do to survive but he wasn't leader material.

"If you're staying here permanently, he's got to understand that it's what Rick and I say, not whatever he wants." Hershel cuts in coming to a stop a few feet away from the house and trucks where everyone was gathered.

"You're become close." Rick observed.

"We talk."

"Then you know he's not a bad guy. He's just his own worst enemy." Rick could see the wheels turning in her head. He wanted her to babysit Shane so he doesn't do anything stupid while he's gone.

"You want me to babysit Shane?" Andrea said with a dry chuckle, she had better things to do than babysit a grown man who could take care of himself.

"I need to make sure every time I leave the farm all hell doesn't break loose."

"Then maybe you should stop leaving." She said walking away from the group but knowing that she would take the job.

"Will you keep an eye on things?" Rick called out. "Yes." She said waving her hand in the air continuing with her work along the rest of the group.

He had that figured out, now all he need to do was find Rae. He wanted to talk to her now that he was on good terms with his daughter. He also didn't want to leave until he talked to her. He didn't want to leave in case he didn't come back and could never tell her how he truly felt and apologize for using her but he couldn't find her. Like she was before, she was avoiding him and he couldn't find her.

Rae avoided Rick and his family. She knew that she couldn't stay with them much longer. The only reason she was still there was because she didn't want to leave her daughter and she didn't want to bring her daughter out there without anyone watching their back. She could only talk with Rick and sort through their problem otherwise leaving things unsaid for a while would only get harder for her and them. She had already come to the conclusion to talk with him but she kept putting it off. She wanted to avoid it for as long as she could before the bitter truth came raining down.

"Rae!" His voice called out to her and she wanted to keep walking, she told herself she was ready but it seems she wasn't. She wasn't ready to face the bitter truth. It was different from the other times she was hurt by him. He didn't know about her feelings then, but he does now. And he used her to get back at Lori. She didn't know if his feelings for her was true and she didn't know if she could trust the words that came out of his mouth. Before she could run away to hide herself he had already caught up to her grabbing her arm pulling her to a stop and away from the group. It didn't go unnoticed by Lori but who could she blame? She only had herself to blame.

"Look, would you stop and talk to me for a second." Rick grabbed her arm pulling her to a stop when she tried to bypass him. It was here, the talk. Rae couldn't tell if she was ready to face it, she's been thinking about it a lot lately but to actualize it, she might not be ready.

"I don't think we have anything to talk about Rick. Everything is clear as day to me." Rae continued with her work collecting the materials they had around the camp fire.

"But it's not to me." Rae froze but didn't turn to face him seeing his chance to explain Rick continued, "I don't want to leave things unsaid. There's a chance that I might not come back…"

"Don't." Rae stopped him before he could continue. She didn't want to hear what he was saying. He would come back, Daryl would make sure of it for her and for Alex. "You'll be back."

"But if I don't…" He held onto her hand and pressed a quick kiss to her lips. He needed to speak without being interrupted. "Just listen to me, okay. I don't know if I will come back, you don't know. No one knows what will happen out there and I don't want to take any chances." She stood there still processing what just happened. Did he just kiss her out in the open where anyone could see them?

"I love you and I don't want to leave without letting you know. In this world, it's now or never and I'm choosing now. Lori will always have a part of me for everything she's done for me. For giving me Carl, I love her but I'm in love with you. You have to know that." Rick confessed. He didn't want to possibly die without letting her know the truth about his feelings for her.

Rae didn't say anything because at the end of the day. The person who needed him more was Lori. She was pregnant and it may not be his baby but they are married, he couldn't possibly give up on his family just like that. And there was also Carl to think about. She wouldn't be a homewrecker even if she had already started the process.

The silence was killing Rick. He wanted to know that she still loved him or saw him the same way she's always saw him. He wanted to know that the chances he had with her, he didn't ruin them completely.

"Can you at least say something?" He begged trying to look into her eyes to read just what she was feeling at the moment. What she's thinking, anything.

"I don't know what to say." She said after taking a breather, "Can you honestly tell me, you didn't come to me because Lori told you about her affair and the possibility that the child she's carrying isn't yours." Rick couldn't find the right words because what she had said was the truth spoken out loud that he didn't want to recognize. Even with his truth feelings for her, it was the reason he approached her.

"That's right. You can't. Now, can I get back to working. Looks like we're done here." She wanted to walk away from him but he wouldn't let her. His hand still gripping hers in his grasp. He wanted to keep holding on, to be able to reach out in the morning and feel her shape against his. To be the first to see her in the morning before anyone else. He wanted to feel his child in her stomach at night just like he would have if she'd never left. He wanted that experience with her. But he messed up big time. It wasn't going to be the same between them, he really hurt her this time as if he didn't any other times. May the next time they decided to love again, it wouldn't be this toxic for her and him.

"Look, I got better things to worry about. We live in a shitty ass world, I think I can handle getting my heart broken." Rae turned and spoke seeing that Rick hasn't moved from his spot

"Then why can't you look at me or Lori or Carl?" Rick said turning her to face him only she turned her head to look over at the fields instead of him. Her eyes went nowhere near his even when she could feel his eyes just begging her to look at him. He wouldn't speak until she answered him. He wanted answers, he couldn't lose her, not now, not ever again.

"I can't look at Carl anymore because then I would think back to what we did and I would feel guilt for ruining his parent's marriage. And Lori, god. I can't even look at Lori and not think about what we did. How her husband and I had an affair not what ten feet from her tent while she was pregnant. And you, you knew she was pregnant." Rae said yelling all her anger, sadness and pain at him towards the end. Her voice breaking at every word she let out at him. The tears welling up in her eyes, stinging her vision as she gripped her shirt.

"You knew she was pregnant and that she had an affair with Shane and used the feelings I had for you to get back at her, just admit it. That was why you approached me, not out love but for revenge." Rae pushed him away from her unaware of the audience she had. Lori had wanted to speak with him about Carl before he left, she didn't mean to walk upon their conversation but she did.

Ever as she watches the two argue like a pair of couple that has been married for an eternal life she couldn't be mad. Why? She was the one who made the mistake of choosing his best friend to have an affair with. Hell, if she chose someone else maybe things wouldn't be this complicated but she didn't want to deny her attraction to Shane and it ended up being a mistake seeing the new man he had become. She knew that making Rick take responsibility for a child that isn't his wasn't right and would ruined his chance at starting a relationship with Rae but she needed him. She couldn't let him go because she was only a housewife. She knew that she wouldn't survive without him in this wicked world.

"It's a shame, I would've loved you with everything I had. I would've given my life for yours. Bur you played me for a fool. You never loved me, not the way I want you too. It was all fake." Rae said looking him in the eyes to show him how vulnerable she was and how much he hurt her. His hand came up to brush the tear that fell and she leaned into his touch.

"From now on, just stay away from me." She whispered pressing her lips to his palm before disappearing into her tent, soft cries and whimpers could be heard from the front of her tent and there was nothing he could do to make her feel better or himself for the better.

"Hey." A quiet voice said from behind him. He could recognize it as Lori, his current wife who born his son and currently another child of his blood or not. But he didn't want to speak to her, he didn't want to speak to anyone but Rae. He shook his head about to walk away from him but her next words hit him hard. He couldn't be selfish in this kind of world. Even if all he wanted to do was comfort Rae he knew that he couldn't. He had a responsibility and a group to lead. He couldn't go around ignoring the problems just for his own sake. His next words to Rae made her cry even more because even if she believed in his words, she knew he was going back to be with his wife, his son, his rightful family.

Rae sat quietly in her tent until Patricia came to grab her for lunch. Alex was in the house with Beth, they had become close and it was good for her to have another girl around her age. It was a little normalcy that she need her daughter to have. Patricia was bringing lunch for the prisoner but unable to face Rick and his happy family she offered to take it down instead.

The little shed they held Randall in was slightly open. Grunts and moans of pain could be heard as she approaches the shed. She looks through the door and found Shane in there slapping himself on the face muttering to himself. He stood up and pointed the gun in his hand at the prisoner's head. The look in his eyes was that of a cold-blooded killer. There was no stopping it once it got freed.

"Shane, what are you doing?" She opens the door slowly as the gun whipped to point at her. A sinister smirk in place, he knew exactly what he needed to do to get Rick to break and his answer was right in front of him. He kept the gun pointed at her head and gesture for her to close the door behind her. She knew he would pull the trigger if she tried to run, the look in his eyes was of a different man. He wasn't the same man she knew months ago when they'd met on the road. She closed the door and when she turned back all she could see was the butt of the gun heading towards her and soon all she saw was blackness.

"I'll get the package." T-Dog said as he helped Daryl and Rick load the truck to take Randall out on the road. He jogged over to the shed letting the prisoner know that he was going to stay alive and they weren't going to kill him. Bad news for T-Dog was when he opened the door to the shed, there was no prisoner. It was an empty shed. He swore under his breath and ran as fast as he could towards the house where all his people rested. Yelling for Rick and Daryl, letting them know the situation at hand. The prisoner had escaped is what they concluded but that wasn't the truth was it.

When Rae woke up, her head throbbed. There was a good amount of blood just dripping from where her head throbbed. She was being carried through the woods, she could hear the erratic pace of footsteps in front of her, her weapons nowhere to be found. She assumed she was on Shane's shoulder. Her body thrown over his shoulder. Her body was suddenly thrown onto the hard ground, she had to bite her lips when a small scream escaped her lips informing Shane that she was awake. But he ignored her and freed the prisoner, Rae would have felt relieved if she didn't see the coldness in his eyes. She knew that no matter what Randall did, he was doomed to die by Shane's hand.

Shane had grabbed Randall and hauled him up onto his feet and grabbing Rae roughly pulling her along his side. Randall rambled nervously keeping his eye on the drawn gun Shane had kept pointed at her side. Shane kept looking around them making sure that no one had noticed that he was gone yet or that the prisoner was gone so he could finish the job before they found him and he couldn't come up with anything. No one was anywhere near them, he was satisfied and grabbed Randall by his hair, the other hand going to the chin and he yanked killing the poor young man in just a second.

Rae slowly backed away from the scene as Shane stood over the dead body smiling to himself, admiring his work of art. One of a true cold-blooded killer, he was. A bird chirp and his attention snap over to her seeing the look in his eyes he was going to come after her. She took off as fast as her feet would take her but a gunshot rang through the forest as she turned behind a tree nearly missing her by an inch. His footsteps could be heard approaching her, she needed a plan quick and fast before he got any closer.

Her mind was coming up blank and nothing was working until the bird chirp from above her. Shaking her head to focus herself, she jumped up and grabbed the branch above her as quietly as she could. She stayed on that branch hearing the footsteps come to a stop. She found Shane with a gun pointed straight at the tree bark. He just needed to come a little closer and step right under her. He stood on the other side of the tree and shot three times at the tree bark thinking that she was there and when he turned to look if she was dead he found no one there.

The shadow above him showed a figure of a petite woman on the branch. She looks ready to jump at him but he raised the gun slowly and as quick as a second turned and shot the gun. Rae fell off the branch turning to the side to avoid the gunshot but unfortunately, he didn't miss. She fell off the branch in silence without a sound as if a dead body was falling to its death. Her head heading itself vigorously on a rock knocking her unconscious and into the darken world.

Shane knew that he couldn't take her back with him and with the gun shots through the forest, he was sure that his group back at the land would have heard it. He needed to be careful. He killed Randall, walkers should be around somewhere, it'll take care of her. He left her on the ground dropping the gun, no need to bring it back with him. He slammed his head against a tree to make it seem like he was assaulted by Randall and taken capture.

"Rick! Rick!" Shane yelled seeing the group gathered together by the shed. He held his hands up approaching them, "He's armed. He has my gun! He took Rae!" With his bloody nose, it was believable but not all of them were 100% convinced. "Little bastard snuck up on me. He clocked me in the face." Shane explained his injury to the nose.

It was either believe him or not. Rick couldn't take the risk that it may not be real not with the entire group counting on him. He ordered Hershel and T-Dog to get everyone back into the house arming himself and patting his son on the back. The look in his eyes told Carl all he needed to know, it was now or never to man up. The choice was his.

"Just let him go. That was the plan, wasn't it, to just let him go?" Carol said cutting into the tension with her petit voice. She was tired of going back and forth, are they killing him? Are they letting him live? The answer was never consistence.

"The plan was to cut him loose far away from here, not on our front step with a gun." Rick said as Shane took the gun from T-Dog's gun losing his gun to Randall. It wasn't believable to Alex, Shane who use to be a police officer let a kid sneak up on him and take his gun. And to add to the fact that Randall also took Rae, her mother who was a badass bitch as a hostage. It wasn't possible.

Andrea and Lori gathered everyone else up and headed back to house following Rick's order to lock all the doors and stay inside until they find the bastard and get Rae back safe and soundly. Rick, Shane, Daryl and Glenn all headed into the woods to hunt him down even as the sun was setting they still made their way through the woods. If he had one of their people, the longer they wait the more danger that Rae could be in and Rick couldn't risk that happening to her.

Daryl couldn't believe that the kid Randall who weighted only 25 pounds got a jump on him. It wasn't possible. He wasn't going to follow blindly into the situation without knowing the truth. But even if Rick didn't believe Shane, he wouldn't risk Rae life on the line. With no other choice he had to believe that the man who was his best friend is still down there and wouldn't do anything to risk his life or anyone else in the group.

Everything was going the way Shane wanted. He got them to follow him into the forest to hunt the kid down and he also got the group to split up. He's finally getting Rick alone just so he could take his life and become the leader of the group and be a father to his two kids. He was going to get everything he wanted within the hour and Rick wouldn't even see him coming. They were on each other's bad side but the flaw in Rick is, he was always giving people chances wanting to always see the good and ignore the bad. It was his flaw that was going to get the group killed, hell it was getting him killed right now. It was a good and bad characteristic. If the world didn't become shit, they would probably still be the best of buds but it did and he changed to the worse. There was no way out of what he had planned unless he died. No other way.

Daryl and Glenn walked through the forest blindly with no light to guide them or see the tracks. They could be ruining the tracks themselves at the same time. It was no use. A groan in the distance catches their attention and they were back to square one. Right where they were before Shane had them split up. They might as well do it right instead of listening to the lies that were coming out of Shane's mouth. He couldn't be trusted, they had to do this their way or they weren't going to find Rae or the little shithead.

Thankfully Glenn had brought a flashlight that helped them look at the tracks in the ground. What they found did not match Shane's story. He must've followed them farther than he though because Daryl had found two sets of tracks on the ground. They were too close to say he tried following them, it was like he was dragging them along. No signs of a third track to show that Rae was with them but there was fresh blood on the ground. In two separate places. Fresh blood on the tree and if they connected the dots it would tell them that Shane had slammed himself into the tree to make his story believable.

Continuing down the tracks, they find the blindfold they used on Randall to keep him from finding out where they were located. They follow it and the story unravels letting them know that something happened, something big, something that Shane wasn't telling them. The dots were starting to connect themselves in their own head but the fear of being out after dark in a forest were walkers could possibly be following them quiver in Glenn's heart. The story unravels in Daryl's head and Glenn's but with the fear and animal howls he wasn't really paying attention.

The bushes shook catching their attention and they quickly hid behind the tree. Looking over to the source of the noise they find a walker, a walker who looked just like Randall. Daryl whistles and the walker makes his way to the noise smelling the living behind the trees. And as he gets closer, the fear in Glenn builds up that he hesitates and becomes unable to take down the walker. His mistake almost kills Daryl but he quickly bounces back and kills Randall with a blow to the head.

Daryl looks carefully and find a broken neck that tells them the cause of death on Randall. They exam the dead walker seeing no bite mark on his skin. The conclusion comes to Daryl's mind, with no bite marks he had to have died from the broken neck. But the question that lingers is how he became a walker without being infected or being bitten. More question and no answers. They needed to head back to let the others know. It was too dark to be doing anything anymore, they would have to deal with it in the morning. Rick and Shane should be heading back too.

The others back at the house sit quietly even after the sun has set waiting for Rick or anyone of the group to show up and let them know that everything was under control. Alex sat next to the front window just staring out waiting for her mother to just appear safe and sound. She didn't want to be left alone in the world. Ever since she could remember, her mother, Rae has always been by her side through thick and thin. Her grandparents and her uncles were also there, she had the perfect family she could hope for even as she longed for a father she had all the love she needed in the world. Now her grandparents are gone. Her uncles were also gone and if she lost her mother, who the hell knows what she should would do.

Beth sat with her, her hand in hers holding tightly trying to comfort her somehow but knowing the loss of her mother she was going to need time and someone to be there for her. And her father, both of her parents are out there right now and if she lost both of them she'd probably be left with no hope.

"I'm going after them." Andrea said tired of sitting around doing nothing. She wanted to be out there with them to help protect and get some action. She didn't want to be baby-sitting everyone else.

"Don't. They could be anywhere." Lori stopped her. She was starting to live up to being their unofficial first lady as Rick's wife. "And if Randall comes back, we're gonna need you here." Just as she finished her words, Daryl and Glenn make it through the back door with no Rick or Shane.

"Rick and Shane ain't back?" Daryl asked not seeing their leader in the room.

"Where's my mom?" Alex said getting up from her spot seeing Daryl come into the living room. She expected one of them to find her mother, mostly Daryl because he was a tracker and he was a good one at that. He taught her.

"We heard a shot." Daryl said after seeing the shakes of head that answer his earlier question. He rested his palm on Alex's head in comfort when she found that her mother had not come back with them.

"Maybe they found Randall." Lori said but knowing the kind of man Shane had turned too she really couldn't trust her words until he was standing in the room with them. Daryl's next three words added to the feeling building up in her stomach that Shane may have just killed her husband.

"Is he back in the shed?" Maggie couldn't help but ask. The group had to know because it would be on their conscious. They all had to share the burden, it couldn't only be them. It wasn't fair to them if they had to share all the bad things they did or were going to do to live in this type of world.

"He's a walker." Daryl explains and Glenn lets them know that he wasn't bit. There was no bit mark that could be seen and they did a full body examination that they could. And the story starts to unravel in front of the group. The fact that Shane may have been the one to set Randall free and then kill him hung in the air. The feeling that Lori was feeling built up and knowing that her husband was out there with the man that possibly killed Shane was not helping.


End file.
